All Arby's meat is at least 18 years old!

From now on, when people tell me I should lose weight, I'm just going to tell them I don't want to be a pedophile. I'm sure the science works out.

I remember lots of joke comments that the twist was Sandler's character was a helpful ghost all along, and it was just believably dumb and pedestrian enough that most people took it as true. I was kind of disappointed that the maligned twist was that boring, and then I found out it was a superhero origin story for…

Someone actually wanted to buy a section of Detroit to create a zombie experience. They couldn't understand why the local authorities didn't want to actively advertise the city as an apocalyptic wasteland or its citizens as walking corpses.

As long as they keep making Wander Over Yonder, there will be a purpose for McBrayer on Earth.

Maybe Carlos is just you from another dimension. Then you just have to answer that immortal question, is romancing your doppelganger considered incest?

I tried to play it, but a mysterious glowing cloud seems to be coming from my computer fan. I think my computer might be overheating or someth

The Rolling Stones - Rip This Joint
Flogging Molly - Queen Anne's Revenge
Scattle - Flatline
The Beta Band - She's the One
Bad Brains - The Regulator
Calum Bowen feat. COR!S - Half of My Love
The Dead Weather - No Horse
Regina Spektor - Somedays
Nada Surf - Inside of Love
Belle and Sebastian - Seeing Other People

That would be the most disappointing centerfold in the history of print media.

Monuments Men really was a hideous waste of a truly amazing cast and a really interesting true story.

Let's be fair here. This is Adult Swim. I doubt the check was very big.

I'd snark, but it's nice to have someone around here that follows these pop feuds and can explain them quickly. I can get the Cliff Notes version and not have to wade into the quagmire of TMZ and tabloid journalism to figure out what the hell's going on.

I always tell my wife that I wish I could pull off more accessories. Carrying an axe would make the perfect fashion statement. "Really, that's not blood. I just use it to cut jelly donuts."

But Camacho was Terry Crews. I'd almost vote for Donald Trump if he made Terry Crews Vice President. Although, that would mostly be because Terry Crews could throw Trump out of a White House window and take the Presidency for himself.

I hate that word because it makes it seem like I'm part of a fashion movement, when I'm just someone too lazy to shave every day and pick out decent clothing. I'm not trying to be hip, I just work from home and like to scare away the neighbors.

I believe I will look back at this as the moment I became an old man yelling at clouds. The rest of the 50 or so years of my life are going to be rough.

Don't kill yourself, try cryogenic freezing. Then you can outlive all the bastards and go back to sleep if everyone still sucks in the future.

I'm already writing my epic, Pulitzer prize winning novel comprised entirely of emojis and cat memes. At least one critic has already given it a "100" emoji.

I think mine is currently lost under a pile of garbage and junk. I think the garbage and junk is worth about fifty times more than the degree.

If they wanted to recognize emoji, why didn't they just make the word of the year "emoji"?