Unfortunately, you'll be brutally murdered before morning by one of the sentient rolling office chairs roaming the halls.

Stacks on stacks on stacks of tote bags.

They were hoping to find Escobar's buried treasure. And by treasure, I mean cocaine.

"Sucking milk out of the anus of a fish." We now know the new gimmick for the next wrestler to anger McMahon.

It feels a lot like Better Off Ted, but with constant superhero references. That plus the cast gives me some hope, though hopefully it manages to find an audience.

The first Cars is tolerable and bland, but definitely low tier for Pixar. Cars 2 is an entire studio humoring John Lasseter and Disney Consumer Products while just trying to get through it. I'm guessing lots of alcohol was involved, which explains why that movie is completely incoherent.

I guess "Disney confirms Pixar movies have a shared universe" gets a lot more clicks than "Disney shows off some Easter eggs that have no bearing on the movies' plots or settings."

Pun threads haven't been funny since 1979.

"To confuse the audience!" is Sherlock's version of the "The Aristocrats!"

The North Pole scenes in Polar Express are so oddly creepy that they could have had the elves start eating the children after Santa flies away, and I would have not been surprised. That would have also been slightly less terrifying than motion captured Steven Tyler elf.

My first apartment was across the street from a large lake. I couldn't see the lake from my apartment and never put a toe in it, because it was surrounded by McMansions. Every year at least a few more were built, and they were always hideous. Beautiful old homes were destroyed for those monstrosities.

I bounced right of this show the first time I tried watching, because the first few episodes depended way too much on annoyance and gross out humor. I mean, the show still uses those tactics, but in much better moderation. "Art Crawl" was the episode that just clicked, maybe because I also loudly complain about the…

Got to see a free preview last night, and it's really good. Jemaine plays a Giant Enemy Crab, Alan Tudyk plays a chicken that just makes chicken sounds, and the movie manages to get a little scarier than recent Disney movies. The monsters are actually intimidating and, well, monstrous. It's a good sign when kids in…

There was a Night at the Museum 3?

I am totally on board with the WWDITSCU.

Trump supporters do realize that Ice Cube released a song called "Fuck tha Police," right? Though I'm sure they just know him from those Barbershop films that they've never actually watched.

Perfect, Marvel can start working Blade into the MCU.

Taika Waititi needs to resolve whatever cosmic threat nobody cares about in the first 15 minutes, and spend the remaining running time documenting Thor, Hulk, and Darryl living as roommates on some alien planet. Jemaine Clement can play the wacky neighbor.

I can accept an occasional article that's a giant ad if it helps keep the site up. But trying to get readers to buy Minions merchandise, even as a prank, is a step too far.

I think he's more likely to have Urban Fervor.