Longest. Nihilist. Arby’s. Tweet. Ever.

God dang it!

Was on a tour through Scotland once and this guy from Texas was in the group. How did I know? Because he made it very clear he was from Texas. I couldn’t facepalm hard enough.

As a Bears fan, this was me:

which ended with him getting whacked with a vacuum tube

“Shhhhh!! McCarthy is a great coach!! They should give him a huge extension.”

I’d like my Astros to meet the Cubs in the WS so we can be the only team to face both teams in a city in a WS.  Go Astros!

If it encourages them to make hard-R movies, and then later rerelease PG-13 versions with silly framing devices, I’m all for that.

The constant references to Wisconsin Dells on MST3K never cease to delight my wife and I (we live not far from there). In fact, I came here to mention MST3K because it seems every time I rewatch an old episode, I get another joke I didn’t before. I believe in some of the old episodes they say, “Slowly I turned...step…

My favorite is from 30 Rock - Liz Lemon’s dad, Dick, saying regarding a family gathering, “You can’t have a ‘Lemon Party’ with old Dick!” The Lemon Party joke was so obscure, referred to something so disgusting, fucking subversive and hilarious. I remember jumping out of my chair and running around scream-laughing.

Does Mark Wahlberg take an hour-and-a-half shower?

Adrian Peterson told reporters, “That was a new one for me. It was different.”

Live look at Davis in the bills locker room.

A head shot during a slide versus a routine (actually very soft) hit on a QB throwing the ball. Definition of a false equivalency.

“It’s also possible we’re headed for a period of time of long term slow growth”

Isn’t that what we’ve already been in for a number of years? 

I’d like to see exactly the character you describe solve a series of supernatural cases, like Kolchak.

Thanks Beth, your article serves as journalistic lodestar to the rest of this nation.

Or My World of Flops.

Penis.