This really psyches me up for some Mets Spring Training baseball....

I think you mean Mike Pence.

I thought it was funnier when they called it ‘Ned and Stacy’.

Clearly assholes aren’t an endangered species.

Here, I just saved the taxpayers $39,999,000.

At least he’s got health care.

I’d go everywhere he went. I wouldn’t take my eyes off the sleazy SOB.

RE: Selena Gomez and Bella Hadid.

Well, if you can’t believe Vladimir Putin, then who can you believe? Let’s all get back to making Russ.... er..... America Great Again.

I’m not sure this is how I would spend the one day a year I was famous.

“Civil Rights Hero John Lewis. Making copies......”

And even more bad news: the Bruce Springsteen cover band dropped out.

I’m sure driving her husband to buy ammunition made them feel like real Americans.

Well, I guess we know what Kenan Thompson is doing this week......

Mariah Carey and Elton John got paid $.2 million to sing to a Russian 19-year-old at her WEDDING this weekend in London at the Landmark Hotel.

This is going to be the worst season of ‘The West Wing’ ever.

Unfortunately 950 of them were by James Patterson.

She agreed to perform, and if she didn’t check her Twitter she’d still be performing. There are no lifeboats on this Titanic.

When Trump says ‘America’, he means ‘Me’.