Ooooh oooh I have one like that!

Waiting at the airport for a flight. There’s a line of about 10 people at the counter that were delayed from an earlier flight. Some dude pushes past the line and screams at the desk agent that, “(He) has to be on this flight! And it has to be first class!” Agent tells him that she can help him but he need to wait in…

One time I was at the bar wearing these really cute booties. They were a bit trashy and I got them at the thrift store but I was rocking it.

burns are great but reactions are better

Many years ago, as I stood in line at the (University) gym to be issued gym clothes, a student in front of me told the attendant he needed a “medium jock strap with a large cup.” The attendant immediately came back with “Why? Are you trying to leave room for your hand?”

Larry The Cable Guy is a good option. I don’t know why, but Paul Rodriguez comes to mind, also. Randy Quaid? He might be a bit too hig brow, though. (I can’t believe I am seriously pondering this, but you bring up a good point.)

Unfortunately, she missed the fine print in the Texas RFRA about how it only applies to feeding the homeless ... to the lions.

The contest should be called “What’s the cheapest underwear you can buy at Target in bulk cuz you don’t want to think about this stuff?”

The contest should be called “What’s the cheapest underwear you can buy at Target in bulk cuz you don’t want to…

Switched from Hanes to MeUndies and have not looked back. The latter is just better. No, you don’t need a flap.

Switched from Hanes to MeUndies and have not looked back. The latter is just better. No, you don’t need a flap.

This is almost certainly the dumbest post I’ve ever written.

Kurt Langstrom figures included douchey emailing action!!

Have a great weekend my friends. But watch your back!

Bill Finger gets screwed over again. (Thanks, Ty the Guy!)

A++, Fast Service, Would get towed again.

This is the most important Gawker synergy of our time.

Who would ever give a tow company a good review?

Obviously photoshopped. They didn't crash a real Star Destroyer.

Holy crap. I clicked on the video and knew exactly where she is at (sign me up to be an investigative reporter, ESPN. I have a college degree, am in good shape, have all my teeth, and live in an apartment). Before everyone absolutely rags on Britt here, let me play devil’s advocate for just one second.

"Hey....smell my fingers."