Of course, not everyone has to exercise the right to bear arms. Julia Sullivan's mother, for example, only felt the need to bear half-arms.

Aaron Rodgers Does Not Think You Should Drive Drunk Or Uniformed

I have an exceptionally poorly-researched theory that the annual re-posting of Norm MacDonald's fucking hilarious ESPYs monologue makes the commentariat funnier in its wake. My sample size, of course, consists entirely of today and last night's cheerleader post. But still.

A cursory analysis of her work reveals that she is firmly ensconced in the broader genre of contemporary pop art, although more specific elements of Stuckism and altermodern can be detected in her paintings, many of which modify or mash-up previously existing art that accompanied the albums of popular rock musicians.

That's when Taylor Buchholz hit his nadir.

Condition of hotel room rug? Natty.

he continues his myopic, monomaniacal quest

Most locals are still perplexed. "Baby racing? I don't get it. If baby is tied up, how does it get to the end of the rane?"

And at the end of the BF1 season, the top points-getter takes home the Sippy Cup.

Wow.

+1

"What's the big deal? One time the night before a game in Philly, me and Troy spent all night killing Younglings. I had a headache the next day, but I still got 132 yards and a TD."

"Look Anakin, I know, stylistically, it isn't exactly Nabokov, but Jesus Christ, give her a break. It's written for kids. You don't have to keep fucking SIGHING over there."

WINNER: POTTER

Dwight Eisenhower would like to remind readers never to trust Stephen A.'s interview notes.

The NY Daily News is all over this one

And yet another when, trying to drain some spaghetti for the jurors, they spilled noodles all over the floor. "I can't explain it," the lead prosecutor said sheepishly. "I really thought I was a sieve pro."

Pictured: Charles Barkley laughs and looks down on a plain white man. Also, Ernie Johnson is there.

The one routine she really nailed in tryouts was the human pyramid. But it was sheer luck that it happened to be at a bowling match.

NOT IN GARY BUSEY'S HOUSE, GS!