@Hatey McLife: It is, in turn, followed by a parade of shrews.

"Parade of Boos? DON'T TAKE YOUR EYES OFF THEM."

@InSinSeer: that looks more like a Mandingy.

@FavreFAIL: You can make billions by fucking John the Baptist? Is there really that much demand for decapitation porn?

@Chris Hanson's Axe: Sure, but every time I've ever heard the phrase "main vein" it was about the urinary system. Which when you think about it that way ... wtf?

Pau Gasol Had Quite The Summer Avoiding His Day Job

Isn't soliciting the help of those more knowledgeable only going to diminish your "most precious asset" in this endeavor?

@MopUpReliever: Hey - the fightin' Showalters are 31-22!

Oh dear, Chad wants your children to grow up fast.

Ben Roethlisberger is blaming his current troubles on tinted meat.

Chinese Christians during the cultural revolution: "I'm fearing God but I can't pray."

@OnTheTwelfthNightOfLloydChrist...: For the pun, +0.2; for the Oski avatar, +0.8. Sad times for Cal Athletics yesterday.

Bread sliced by the farmer's wife.

A Syracuse columnist made a factual error.

If you've made it through life without a tube up your dick, I say you've come out ahead.

I'D EAT ME SO HARD

@Eddie Murray Sparkles: Awesome.

To make matters worse, when they arrived at the stadium, Ferdinand just laid in the middle of the pitch smelling flowers and refusing to play football.

@ArkansasFred: You don't live in Aloha, OR by any chance do you?

I'd donate now, but I'm holding out for the emergency hand-crank internet thank-you gift