Low calorie AND provides a reasonable amount of zinc? So why are only 30% of women swallowing? Is it the taste? It's the taste, right? Or just the consistency? That's fine. There are other places to spray baby batter.

I'm trying to eat low carb. According to this, I can still suck (*swallow) 1,818 dicks a day and not exceed my 20g of carbs. Good to know.

It's well known in medicine that obesity can lead to health issues. Anyone who argues otherwise is basically in the same league as the global warming denial types. "Correlation is not causation" is the same argument they made.

Corn. In fucking everything. SO much corn.

I am so tired of people hating everything that's pink. No, little girls don't have to like pink. Yes, lots of little girls do anyway. This is not the first or only astronaut Barbie doll. You really want your Barbie's spacesuit to not be pink? Here, dress her up in this blue spacesuit from the same collection. Or…

Or these?

I assume Miley means these bangers:

I would be much happier if Chris Brown just quit being Chris Brown entirely. I want him to go find a ninteenth century land owner who needs an ornamental hermit and leave the rest of the world blissfully ignorant of his existence.

I nearly fainted when I saw Jennifer Aniston stripping in the trailer. The woman is my age, and I've been waiting nearly 20 years for that.

I'm all for empowerment and self choice, but I can't lie, if I started dating someone and they told me about that awesome time they banged 45 people one after the other, I'm kinda thinking that would not be a check mark on the pro side of the pro/con list. I guess I'm just old fashioned that way.

31 dudes? I hope she took some pee breaks, UTI's are a bitch.

The human land in The Little Mermaid didn't seem very tropical to me.

I NEED AN ADULT

It sounds like her main complaint is that the media will focus on the porn stars when she thinks there's a lot more to the game than that.

"Why didn't you arrest me when you had the chance, Russia? Because you didn't want [to] answer to the world?"

Technology is easier? I'd have a much easier time putting on a record than trying to figure out the clusterfuck that is iTunes.

if i was this young, this rich and this hot, i would party precisely the way she does. (but no thanks chris brown)

Hey, I enjoyed her remake of The Parent Trap! And also. . .um. . .yeah, pretty much just that.

"But conceptually, it's just bored white people being dicks to each other because they're so bored and they're so trapped by their boredom and isn't it fascinating how trapped and bored they are and isn't white boredom truly the defining struggle of our age?"

So happy.