OH GOD what a lesson!!

Please, continue to wound your lips. And while your at it, inject your butts with rubber cement.

Her performance on SNL was so boring I thought, “this can’t possibly be the kind of music one of the world’s biggest pop stars is so popular for..” and I was wrong. Holy shit is pop music boring.

YES. He’s a good actor! He really is! It’s insane, but he has actual talent!

Not her pet chicken, surely!

Sometimes they call my anger toward this kind of thing “red rage”, but HOLY SHIT HE’S A GOOD ACTOR. WHY THE FUCK DOES HE KEEP DOING THIS. GADDAMN IT ADAM SANDLER.

I dug it out of the cold dead ground and used it to emphasize how incredibly homo I am about this girl.

#nohomo but she’s legit that kind of skinny trashy white girl hot I’ve always wanted to be/bang. Be-bang? New phrase!

Jesus the things I’d do with/to a body like hers..

I have been wearing the same pair of size 12 low-rise flares from Wet Seal for 3 years, now.

Thanks, I haven’t changed much. :D

I live off of free “English Breakfast” k-cups because it’s convenient, not because it’s good.

I live off of free “English Breakfast” k-cups because it’s convenient, not because it’s good.

To cover the vagina, yes. So you don’t have to wear underwear!

What maxi dresses are for, no? That’s how I use ‘em..

EXACTLY. Sheath dresses are the most unflattering shit piles in the world! Unless they’re tailor made, they never fit. I have a 29” waist and 42” hips. There better be spandex and/or a thick belt on that thing.

Usually I go to Zigfields. Looks like I have a new dick-stination!

I hate dresses like this. I have CURVES. Unless that shit is fitted at the waist, get it the fuck outta my face.

Really, why lie about this shit? I wasn’t a shy teen. I wore a leopard print cowboy hat and photobombed all of the club pictures in my senior high school yearbook. I dyed my black hair blonde and wore a goth dress to the prom. Why lie about being outspoken? Because being shy is “in”? Fuck that!

Velveeta Shells & Cheese is the most decadent gaddamn quickie-macaroni I’ve ever eaten. Kraft is for suckers and children.