Ugh. I feel the same way when people bitch about Christmas and St. Valentine's Day. Get over yourself and eat some fucking candy.

GOOD LORD that man is handsome.

Halloween is a superior holiday. People who don't enjoy Halloween are typically people I do not understand.

My office is having a costume contest, today. As the receptionist, I'm allowed to participate, but I feel like, as a hardcore nerd, I'd be cheating. Don't nobody do Halloween the way I do.

"...married people throw their money around town like they're doomsday preppers at Costco."

Sounds about right, in my case.

Back in MY day, there WERE no "girl soccer shoes" (the 90's). Hell, I lived in such a ghetto ass neighborhood I couldn't even FIND soccer shoes! Fucking hell! It's soccer, it's not fucking ballet!

Totally different. Everyone wants to punch Chris Brown. (I'm just kidding. Kinda.)

I was always jealous that I never got a quincenera. Or a Sweet Sixteen. All I got was a bottle of Hennessy my dad accidentally left in my room, which I shared with my 2 dude friends while we watched anime. Happy teenage years!

My family has been making wine for hundreds of years. My family is still alive. Coincidence? I don't think so.

I forsee much TPing in this person's future.

If roomy clothing is the #1 sign of being preggo, I've been preggo for the past 2 years. Or the thing died in me and has hardened, like that episode of Nip/Tuck with Mrs. Claus.

If she researched the person and dressed as the person actually dressed instead of "I found some feathers and painted my face!" I don't think that's insulting or insensitive. Dressing as a person who actually existed and not just "I'm a brown people, today!" is totally cool.

That's not offensive, to me. If you actually learned about a certain tribe and dressed as they did instead of cherrypicking and brown-facing, that's cool.

Gaddamn it, Ireland. I wanted to like you.

Celine Dion is a fucking incredible vocalist. Singing her music with her inflection takes real skill. Not my bag, but damn, she's amazing.

She is thin and white and somehow doesn't believe she's "conventionally beautiful"? Give me a fucking break, already. I understand that people who are beautiful often can't see it. I know it's a self-esteem issue. But she's really getting on my nerves by saying this in particular because she's absolutely privileged…

As someone who watches live performances regularly, I can say that if someone spent 10 minutes ranting and stroking their own ego, I would be pretty annoyed. It doesn't take more than a few seconds to get your point across. Fuck I hate pop music.

I don't understand how people find this guy attractive. You want cute? Drake is cute. Drake doesn't punch people. I don't even like Drake's music, but damn. I still don't see the appeal in Chris Brown. He seems like an irritable self-absorbed asshole. How can anyone find that attractive?

People seem to REALLY like this movie, but I don't think I could watch it myself after one of the actresses seemed to be so uncomfortable with it. I don't want to watch someone suffering.