Jeez, Goop. Were you too busy writing the blurb for your next 'exclusive' feature on your website that you forgot you were attending an event? Do something with your hair, throw on a rosy lip balm.. SOMETHING. We all know you can do understated and beautiful, and what you're doing here… It's not working.

I've always thought 13 Ghosts was such an underrated movie, mostly because the special effects artistry was so on point.

I know! All kinds of feels about all of the ripped-ness happening here. I had no idea.

*right clicks*

I'm slowly building up the courage to try a very similar look, and after seeing this I'm considering giving myself a belated birthday gift in the form of an afternoon at the salon.

I hadn't realized it had been so long since her last one… 2008! I hope so… But until then, I suppose we have YouTube. :(

She is a diva. Hands down. She should write a book about how to own a room. I'd read the shit outta that.

I've always loved Janet, but when I saw her tribute to MJ at the VMAs that one year, she jumped another echelon for me. Her dancing was on point, she looked flawless, and bitch can Command. A. Stage.

I can never pass up an opportunity to brag about my boys: Jaxon O'Shea (L) and Kalvin Broadus… Both adopted, curious, protective and oh-so-snuggly. They love to romp with my 3-year-old, and although we have suspicions about what breeds they are mixes of, it's really not all that important to us. My mother in law won't…

Antique Brass F-ck Off Hand Stamped Heart Charm from Etsy.

Off to YouTube favorite boy band music videos of my Junior High days… Sigh.

Oooh, me too. I kept thinking, "Tom Hiddleston has an all white kitchen, and I have an all white kitchen!! Clearly we were meant to be."

God, that Prabal Gurung piece is TO DIE FOR. And homegirl worked it, too.

Ooooohhh… Dante. It's the hair.

I love your color! I would love to go bluish grey like that. You rock it, girl!

Late to the party, but I wanna join the one-upping! Mohawks on chicks are sexy. That is all.

All I'm really taking away from this is that I need a leather button-down in my closet, stat.

Stainless Steel Locking Tongs with Silicone-Dipped Tips, $12.95

I got to go to two parties this year... First as Rosie the Riveter, and then as just a generic 70s-era lady. My friends took to calling me 'Foxy White.'

Fuck yeah. That blue/orange sweater? Gimme gimme gimme!