I work with someone who just graduated from Wheaton in May. She had a hard time at the school, as you can imagine, but absolutely loves Hawkins. She said a lot of the students were also really struggling thereas so many of them were sort of forced to go there or came from very sheltered backgrounds and were starting…

The African Americans who’ve won Oscars, and the role they played.

Hattie McDaniel - a slave

Don’t forget that the main white lady needs to be under 30, as long as the guy is still under 60.

He is the worst for other reasons, but she took off her top and she has breast implants. Come on. Do you really think she was offended? She was prancing around topless. And I say this as someone who is a sex-worker.

“Wow, what is in that cup?” Anderson asked quietly.

Lucas is right where he belongs in relation to the Star Wars franchise...

Yes, but George, when you ruin your children, sometimes the state has to take them away from you for their own welfare.

I know a guy whose cat planted weed, coke, heroin, meth, and like three kilos of catnip in his car.

Between this Mark Salling news and the ever present inconceivable support on twitter today for Bill Cosby, here is a picture of my puppy to cheer everyone up.

She’d rather learn how to use the can opener. Cats can always show their buttholes as a sign of contempt. I’ve seen many a cat blowhole in my day.

Carrie Fisher is so badass I love her so much. And these tweets make me love her more.

She’s pushing 60 and her character has spent the last 3+decades trying to hold a galaxy together. Something is wrong with her face?

We had a pretty cool priest growing up. He paid me really well for serving funerals and weddings and kept masses under 40 minutes. Then he was convicted of murdering a nun in the 80s. Not really sure if he did it, though.

This is funny and stupid, but also, as (an admittedly completely lapsed and non-believing) Catholic, I can understand why the Diocese didn’t appreciate this. Catholic services are solemn affairs, deeply embedded in tradition. This is kind of like wearing a clown nose to Mass.

Well, I taught my cat how to grow thumbs and walk on her hind legs so she could go open the front door, then slam it shut.

I’ll do you one better: I spontaneously grew a vagina just so it could slam shut.

I don’t even have a vagina and it still just slammed shut.

I think Taylor Swift passes them out the first Friday of every month.

Everyone knows women go to the bathroom in groups. What if there’s a major emergency and Hillary needs to pee but can’t find anyone to go with her and because of that the Chinese nuke the moon?? WHAT THEN???

I’m confused as to why this pee break thing is such a big deal. Is there a big advantage to having a president who wasn't late getting back from the bathroom that one time? Maybe Trump stores his urine in his hair and only has to pee once a week. I guess that would be helpful.