That is very true. I can tell the students in your school are lucky YOU are there. Aware, caring people like you make such a difference! And what you said is true — the bullies miss out on real friendships. They don't how to have real friendships because their lives are so dysfunctional. And that is another…

You wrote, "Both goals of bullying i guess was to put me down so that they could feel better about themselves."

I never heard of this. They sound awesome. THANK YOU! I think I love you.

You sound like a totally smart person who has made a very wise decision.

Ah, I use The Keeper. I LOVE it! I love knowing I am not clogging up landfills with my tampons and pads. I love not having to spend money on tampons or pads. Nope — I have my lovely Keeper — just dump the blood into the toilet and flush, then wash the Keeper with soap and water, just as you would wash your hands,…

Are you kidding? Is this study supposed to tell me something new? Of course bullies are often popular (not always, but often, even usually)! That doesn't mean they are happy. It doesn't mean they have a healthy sense of self esteem. And of course the victims are uncool — they are the safest victims! Does this…

Oh, I doubt that. I have taught bullies and victims ever day of my working life. I have successfully stopped bullying — in fact, I have never been unsuccessful (I always say this with my fingers crossed, hoping not to jinx it, but it's true). Anyway, there are experts, you know, who agree with me and my ideas about…

YSS1, THANK YOU. That means a lot to me. One of the things I love most about teaching is being able to protect kids from bullies. Your thanks means the world to me. I really appreciate it!

Interesting. Thank you for your points. Perhaps — perhaps this is why I have been unbelievably successful at stopping bullying. I am proud of it, of my ability to sop bullying — I'll admit it — but maybe I am good at that because I do understand it. Bullying does NOT come from a good place. It's obvious if you…

It's true. I don't think people who bully are happy. I have never seen a happy bully. Yes, you are right — they are "happy" when they are bullying, but it's not the same kind of happiness a person who doesn't have to hurt others feels. I am sorry I can't explain it well enough to make you understand my point. So…

How do you know if there is or isn't a correlation between having healthy self esteem and being happy?

Of course bullies have low compassion! I never said they didn't. But I don't think they have high self-esteem. Thinking you are better than others is not the same thing as having high or healthy self-esteem. You can show me studies and I thank you. Information is always good. Unfortunately, the link you gave me…

Well, my ex-husband was a major whore and I have to say, the only women he wouldn't have sex with were virgins. According to him, he never met a woman who couldn't handle him and I have no idea how many women he had sex with. I don't want to know. It was a lot. Anyway, I think the number of women who can't handle…

I also said something about accepting our flaws. I don't think anyone believes, "Oh, I am perfect!" But some people are fine with their flaws and doing okay whereas others are tortured by their imperfections (and I think those people are more likely to attack those imperfections in others).

Narcissists do NOT have genuinely high self esteem. They are deeply insecure, actually. That is why they have narcissistic personality disorder — they have a disorder because they have been abused and have not developed normally. I tried to respond to this before, but it didn't get posted — sorry about that. …

IIRC, narcissists actually have very low self-esteem. Their narcissism masks this. I am try to remember what I learned about this... narcissists have low self esteem and are deeply insecure and that is why they cannot stand to be challenged or contradicted, even in the slightest way. I might be wrong — it's been a…

But you don't — cocks are not as big as babies and labor is not sex.

Of course I think I am right. Don't you generally believe you are right? And I do think that people who are comfortable with themselves are nice to other people. I have no idea why you find that so hard to believe.

A true Scotsman fallacy? I am talking about what makes people bully — not trying to distance myself from a group. I am just talking about what I have seen after years of teaching. Happy people aren't vicious. If being vicious makes you happy — well, that's not the same kind of happiness that people get from helping…

I never saw anyone who TRULY felt good about themselves need to hurt others. I never saw anyone who liked themselves need to hate others to do so. I am not familiar with Lundy Bancroft. I will say this, though — people who batter others are not doing so because they feel so happy and comfortable in their own skin. …