Udder Cream. Yep, originally formulated for chapped udder skin. It's basically the consistency of butter — super duper thick. It's the best!

Pardon me. I didn't realize that you were in fact just taking an opportunity to make up a haha-girl-with-a-dick-let's-beat-her-up-oh-it's-just-a-poop super funny joke. I'll amend my original statement: you are actually the one people should stop hanging out with.

Well, calling someone who is clearing self-identifying and presenting as a "girl" a "dude" is transphobic. (I'm not even gonna get into the motivations for trying grab onto a perceived trans woman's imaginary dick in anger... Why do this if not to commit violence?)

Uh, if you're mortified to have been making out with "a dude" (transphobic much?), the first thing you do is try to grab for cock???? This story is epically bogus and dumb. Don't be friends with this person!

Stop. Just stop.

Yeah, I didn't see the whole thing, so I don't know. It just seems weird they wouldn't spend any time trying to determine WHY this lady left a comfortable life where she had primary custody to go live as a prostitute fugitive in a foreign country. Like, it just seems there must be more to the story...

No, I get all that. You kind of had to watch the show, I think, to sense that some part of the story wasn't told. Like, it seems weird to me that this woman just uprooted her whole life and that of her children to live on the run and survive by turning tricks for no reason, considering she already had primary custody.…

So, last night I sort of caught the tail end of 20/20, which was about these two dads who had both at one point been married to the same woman (not simultaneously). They both had shared custody of their respective sons with this woman. Then she took the kids with her to Slovakia on vacation and just never returned. So…

You forgot the best one, Karamel Sutra Core! Caramel and chocolate ice creams with dark chocolate chips and a core of not-too-oozy-not-too-chewy caramel. I bought this one without realizing it was anything new and my boyfriend basically shit himself with excitement. SO GOOD.

And then he describes his (failed, brief) relationship with her being more tragic in its ending than the one with the mother of his kids? Cool.

My grandmother is a former nutritionist with a large collection of old-ass nutrition-related books. My favorite one growing up was written by a presidential nutritionist who apparently served Truman through Kennedy or something. The book included lists of typical daily diets of all the presidents. Anyway, I think…

Catwoman, duh. That outfit is totally a net positive. Also, the photos of the entire collection at the link make me so happy. This look was what I most aspired to in like 1999.

Totally.

Yeah, with that badass CAT MASK she has in her hand? No question. I'm practically wearing it right now.

Yeah, this guy has basically proven himself to be human garbage with RIDICULOUSLY off-topic racist and sexist comments (to the effect of "all women are bitches who only act nice to get men to fuck them", "black people are ignorant stupid criminals", and "Jews are trying to destroy decency and goodness worldwide") not…

What IS this?!?

I do use it (mostly to describe strangers or fictional characters), but recently I've been thinking more about maybe cutting that out and going with "assholes" universally. Plus, double troll responses like the ones I've seen here (you might want to dismiss The Adlerian's reply to you which is about how all women…

This sounds amazing! I'm making it tonight!

You must be one of those people who is always complaining that your "freedom of speech" is being violated when people don't like what you have to say. Obviously anyone has the "right" to say whatever they want without, you know, getting arrested or oppressed by the government. But if you say some dumb-ass shit I'm…

Yes, please! Green soup!