I don’t like cruise control.

the prices on these 80's sports cars are going nowhere but up as the gen Xers hit their 50's and 60's.

Damn, man. I was hoping to read a funny story but instead got slapped in the face by the ruthless hand of the real world (it’s related to the invisible hand of the free market, but with more random violence).

Its probably one of Velocity’s top 3 shows.

I agree with “no screens” and everything else on his Good Not To Have list except for no cruise control. Who doesn’t like cruise control?

Is anyone else surprised that this article isn’t either written by David Tracy or about David Tracy? I read the headline and thought “I thought that David Tracy lived in Michigan?”

I wish that hood ornaments were still popular for cars. They probably went away for pedestrian safety reasons and because they got stolen a lot, but I’d love to see a comeback. Maybe auto makers could design their higher-end cars to be compatible with aftermarket hood ornaments? That way they’d be off the hook for…

I need to vacuum my car out.

Also, my transmission has a lock-out ring, so there’s no way to accidentally go into reverse. It’s actually a great theft-deterrent, because even if someone knows how to drive stick they probably have never encountered a car with a lock-out ring.

Up and to the left is the classiest and sportiest place for Reverse gear.

They reminded me of the bubbles in lava rock, so that would make sense.

Terminated vs not rehired at the end of a contract term are very different things.

Maybe sometimes, but not always. For example, at the grade school I went to the principal didn’t get her contract renewed this year, but everyone in town knows that she got fired. So even though she wasn’t technically fired and it doesn’t say so on her resume, if you Google her name you’ll see all of the newspaper…

That’s a distinction without a difference.

It was a joke, you douche. I guaran-fucking-tee that your town is nicer than mine, because I live in a shithole. Detroit jokes have been around for decades, so if you’re this bitchy when you read them on the internet I’d hate to see what you’re like in real life. And bragging about Marky Mark liking your town is…

When I want this kind of abuse I WILL GO TALK TO MY SISTER.

So shitting yourself is so common that they have sponges on hand to help get rid of it? If you need shit sponges in order to do something, then maybe that’s a sign that you shouldn’t be doing that?

I used to drive a Fiero and I’m pretty sure that one of those could fit under a semi. That being said, I hate to be next to a big rig in ANY vehicle. I always try to get past them as fast as possible, because I’m scared that a lugnut will fly off of a wheel or something crazy like that.

They made a big big deal that only the best bodies were painted black.

It didn’t have the wood trim, but that was my first car! Well, it was a Caprice Classic in two tone gray and a bit older since it didn’t have a CHMSL, but it’s definitely one of my prior cars that I’d love to drive again.