I care about Octo’s boner. As should we all! Won’t someone think of the boners!?

It took the overwhelming comedic talents of Leslie Jones to make Colin Jost even remotely appealing.

I thought that was a good one, too. “White guy with camera” made me snort laugh.

Can’t disagree with anything except that Selena did perform twice. Once with a bunch of folks in a semi-circle behind her and once on a bed.

What about the rif on #OscarsSoWhite? They did a pretty good job on that one too.

That is so true. My teachers in high school attributed my exhaustion and lack of focus to laziness and disinterest.

Okay, first: Kudos to the teacher who didn’t attribute the child’s exhaustion to laziness or disrespect. I know that should be a given, but many signs of abuse and neglect are blamed on the child.

I agree. It speaks to someone who really cares about the kids in his school

That's one badass assistant principal.

That’s the face that douche bags make when a hot woman that doesn’t look like a model gets any attention. They gotta bring her down with that shitty sarcasm that’s all over his face.

My daughter was born that day. The anesthesiologist was inserting my IV when it came on the news. I told him that if Bush died while I was under not to wake me up because I didn’t want to live in a world where Dan Quayle was president. When he woke me up, the first thing he told me was that Bush was still alive.

My Grandpa’s opinion back in the day on the ‘flu’ statement [for full effect imagine an old man with a beard, a half naked lady sailor-type tattoo on his forearm, a pipe and a can of PBR]:

Talk about a viral video!

agreed. they dont have to smile. they can do whatever they want.

Here you go:

i’d like to see it too. i read a theory once (lol that sounds serious) that the reason they are so...drab as adults might be because of their over sexualization of them as minors. i mean remember the websites counting down to their 18th birthdays? so now as adults they wear over sized clothes and dont smile. sounds…

WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE FLUSHING PADS?

No one told me not to flush tampons, so I did for years and years.

getting one of those smiling tampons tattooed on me asap.