Not sure that counts as a failed recipe DeadspinRIP, thanks for sharing though. 

I’m thrilled we live in a world where burgers can be stuffing.

That’s really fucking funny.

My dad makes a mean Springfield style cashew chicken! It’s all gravy and popcorn chicken, but it’s grade “A” lazy Saturday food.

Again, I am willing to fight for the honor of this apple. 

I get off on creating dumb economies based on imaginary currencies. 

I’ll give a billion bullshit bucks to whoever can find someone* willing to talk about their sexual experience with “trollingishalfthebattle”

I started reading the article ready to throw hands with anyone talking shit about my baby, the delightful Honeycrisp, only to find out I may have a new apple to eat around Christmas? Fun! 

Ideal, 

What dark powers are at work here? 

Me and my wife reward ourselves with steak night when we’re very good.

I lived 2,461 miles away from the nearest, (or 46 hours of driving). Assuming the closest one to “Near Anchorage” is Everett, Washington.

What the hell are those unclassified meals?

Former Alaska resident here, I paid for Amazon Prime (for the shows) while in the great northern wilderness, but did I receive the 2 day shipping to my tundra home? Ladies and gentleman of the jury I DID NOT. 

I grew up with rotel in velvetta, I’m not going to pretend it’s haute couture, but it’s exactly the cheese dip broke adults would make and pretend it’s super special. So it’s super special 

If Grandma Nightbrains were still on this side of heaven (God rest her soul) she’d have your hide for saying she couldn’t hunt

I don’t think Charlotte would have made for good eating.

“That’s TV now?! Back in my day we called that living.“ - Every old man in America

The hardest choices require the strongest of wills. 

I’m not eating a brat that doesn’t have about a quarter pound of carmelized onion jam with it. Your recipe sounds great though.