Alkali baby asprin

Yes, I meant Super Bowl wins. I have the Sexy Rexy Bowl and he has the McNabb Vomit Bowl and the Plunkett Bowl.

I hate to admit this, but I was hoping your story was going to end with the “Free JoePa” guy getting beaten to death by you and your co-workers in front of Ditka’s dais...

Counter-counterpoint: Malort is awful. In medical school, I did a psych consult on a guy at Cook County Hospital after he had drunk turpentine because he was starting to go into DT’s. I asked him why he had done such a thing, which was my job, and he said “it was that or Malort.”

I like it, but call it what it is: casserole

10 year old me has made a triumphant return from mid-80’s Mets cocaine jokes:

“Hi Mike, fellow PSU alum, free JoePa!”

Good thing he wasn't caught with heroin. Horse collars are really dangerous and heavily penalized.

He needs to die already so we can have a big bullshit celebration of his stupid life and get over it. The guy is a fucking asshole and lucked into one championship now he’s somehow a saint in this city. It’s sad, but then most things related to the Bears are sad.

No it isn’t, it’s sauce in a bread bowl...

Dog dish of dough filled with Prego

My best friend for the last 35 years is as die-hard of an Eagles fan as I am a Bears fan (meaning we are two idiots who will hold onto the 1 Super Bowl we will experience tighter than any actual meaningful moment from our sad lives).

Missed the WYTS deadline for this year, but four weeks ago the corporate entity that I pretend to work at while they pay me a meager wage decided to bring in a celebrity speaker to get us excited about filling out our TPS reports. Being Chicago, they hired Mike Ditka. After a painful incoherant 15 minute speech, that…

Chicago pizza is just lasagna 

Next up: Philadelphia Eagles.

“Bear Weather” is winter. Bears sleep in the winter. Stop owning yourselves with “Bear Weather” you absolute stereotypes.

The man was the .gif that keeps on .giffing.

I sat in a bar, with my pregnant wife, down in Florida watching that game unfold. The nice locals next to us seemed excited for the Bears about to kick the winning field goal. I told them that he was going to miss it. I had no doubts about this and then he hit those fucking poles. Sat there in my Mack jersey, staring…

I know Jay is not on the team anymore but I love this gif too much not to post it here.

The new Bears logo: