Carlos Ruiz (CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCH!!!) on line 1 for you...

something came back with him

Seriously, Magary has been spitting straight fire after whatever happened to him, and I, for one, am here for it.

A Magary is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he gets out of intensive care.

He was Drew the Gray. After his battle with (the Balrog? for all we know) we believed him gone forever, but he has returned as Drew the White to help us destroy Sauron.

But also the most spot-on.

I’m such a Deadspin fanboy that I hate Barstool Sports despite the fact that I’ve never visited their site.

a site for boys who wanna grow up to be Donald Trump Jr.

There’s only room in Philly for one alliterative name. Don’t phuck with the Philly Phanatic.

We might need to add “Stabbed by a mayo lover” to the pool.

Bernie hasn’t changed at all. That’s his appeal.

Khloe just wants to be a victim. That’s all this is. It gets her attention.

God I dislike Khloe Kardashian so fucking much. Woman, you are THIRTY FOUR FUCKING YEARS OLD. Take this mess off of Twitter and grow the fuck up. Also, this cracked me up.

Dear Khloe:

Thank you!I’m sure Tristan is a piece of shit but certainly the Kardashians and their circle of hangers-on can assume some capability here. 

fixed the headline for you.

Agreed. She just wants to be mad at someone, and if she’s mad at Thompson, then it really circles back to her for getting involved with someone who she should have already known was a piece of shit. Woods is just the scapegoat.

Can we please not forget he dropped his pregnant girlfriend for Khloe?  Khloe!!!! STOP!  He’s a piece of shit.  Woods did not break up your fam.

What is it with Khloe and brutal verbal attacks on very young women? Anyone remember when she posted what she thought was a nude pic of Chloe Grace Moretz, who at the time was all of 19?

My word.  Why does Jez care about this (manufactured) nonsense so much?