“Where can I get some of that? Asking for a friend.”

I know. 1945 Rothschild?! Monsters. That stuff tastes like Hitler’s piss.

Do you really want to have to go to work in January?

When you’re tired of winning... please consider The Jets

The Jets actually started recruiting Hightower while he was still a member of the Patriots by leaving a couple of cupcakes on his schedule each year.

ONCE AGAIN, ZEKE ELLIOTT BLOWING THE TOP OFF THE COVER TWO.

Somebody tell Zeke that he has to be 35 to run for president.

“Elliott, mesmerized, confessed he’d never considered cropping a shirt from the top before.”

Does Anker make flashlights now? Are they on sale today?

It was later discovered that Elliott did it on a dare from Jerry Jones.

Sure when Justin Timberlake does it at halftime it’s cool but when Zeke does it everyone loses their minds.

glad they found a backer, as opposed to making super cuts to their roster to accommodate a new venue.

It’s no one’s vault but his own.

And with this new rule, his career will be taking a step back.

At least now Mike “Out Like” Flynn will have more time to investigate the Benghazi Pizza scandal.

Tremendous work FBI. Now please get to work on Bannon

Lock her him up!

I’ve always wondered why Darius Rucker never put out a solo album entitled “Hootie Is My Slave Name”