Oh Danny, Crockpot that shit - the crockpot did not kill Jack...

No, you’re not, but you’re definitely the only one who took the time to post on an article about something you dislike. Congratulations.

What, no mention of ‘Oh God! Book II’?

Can’t argue with someone whose pop culture references are so fresh.

RLM’scomedy is a bit too edgelord at times but he actually breaks down why the prequels were poorly made on a filmmaking basis, talking about their tone and camera shots.

Please, said foundation was built on fucking quicksand anyway. Old Western tropes, Flash Gordon serials and Samurai classics are a pretty great way to frame the house on quicksand though. 

TFA wants you to feel like a child again. Which sometimes when you’re older is really hard to do.

I am a non-critic regular person who was around when the original trilogy was in theaters and who enjoyed TLJ. I remember young Luke Skywalker being extremely whiny, and it makes complete sense that he’d turn into a disgruntled old hermit. It confuses me that more people don’t see it that way.

You say you are happy TLJ broke free of being a retelling, but TLJ itself was basically a remake of ESB, only the Hoth battle was at the end and it had the climax of RotJ jammed in there. 

I CLAPPED WHEN I SAW IT!!!

My husband is tempted to get Disney Plus just for the Mandalorian (which I understand was the intention). But I convinced him that all we really need is to watch clips of Baby Yoda for free on the internet.

This might end up being my takeaway from the beginning of the Disney era.

They goddamn better. 

Hot take: everyone has been taking Star Wars way way way way way more seriously than they should have been since about 1993 at least, if not earlier, and everyone should shut up about it for a few years.

I like Daisy Ridley and Adam Driver a lot, so I assume this trilogy is still better than Lucas’s plan to make the third trilogy about the little creatures that live inside midichlorians.

Fans of Joker were blasting the AVC for being biased against Joker despite Dowd giving Joker a good review because that just proved how deep the bias went. Or something.

This is a movie directed by the same man who directed Star Trek: Into Darkness

It’s like poetry. It rhymes

considering the movie seems to get blasted everywhere, for once they can’t blame dowd for delivering the bad review (which are pretty much always right)

There’s only so much space before the article got unwieldy! The original draft was just over 6K words and delved much further into the trash on consoles, PC, and especially Game Boy and Game Boy Advance.