“...Liverpool, a non-shitty team...”

This will give Real Madrid extra time to fix their fax machine.

Can’t be talking about the Cardinals, since they lost tonight 4-3

That’s a fine humblebrag.

The only reason to go to South Carolina is to purchase fireworks that go more than 3 feet off the ground, which are illegal here because the North Carolina state legislature is too busy protecting us from the gays to allow any sort of fun within the borders of our fair state.

I gotta be honest, it’s stupid as shit but yeah, if I were a billionaire I’d build a 50 foot statue of myself overlooking everything. I’d put that shit on top of a building and have a deadman switch installed, so that when I kicked it, the statue would fall 80 stories and hopefully crush a bunch of people who came to…

When I stand for the anthem I start mentally checking off the various ballpark foods I want to eat that day.

Awwww, you're so full of shit.

We also have the freedom to kneel if we want to when we hear the anthem. Or turn our backs. Or dance a jig. Those people died for her freedom to do that too.

The first thing civil rights activists don't do is compare atrocities among the oppressed.

Scouts say Reid has great quick-twitch muscle, and Lane is a natural athelete. The scouts are split on Kaepernick, some saying he athletically gifted, some believing he is a student of the game. All agree he was raised a grinder.

RIP Jimmy.

FUCK THAT MIDGET DAVE FRANCO RIGHT IN HIS SMUG FACE.

Jimmy Fallon is tricked into eating a poison pill and has a minute to say something not-phony for an antidote pill or die.

I was talking about sports.

Barb is dead. She was monster food. Mystery solved.

This made me collapse laughing.

How on earth did we not get one Najeh Davenport mention

Why isn’t the whole plane made out of black on black crime???

Jellystone Park gets no love and I thought this was a bear-friendly blog smh