I saw Bird in a bar once. He had the biggest head of any human I’ve ever seen.

He is

So you’re saying that after reviewing all of the evidence, a Brazilian inspector looked over at Lochte, and was like,

I’m totally cool lying to a foreign government, especially a corrupt one. His allegiance is to the stars and bars, not crooked ass Brazil. But, man, if it’s true he did it to keep his chick from finding out, that’s a bad look. There are levels of chick you obstruct justice over. Kate Upton, Emily Ratajkowski, Betty…

OK, but how many years has it been since Nick Denton has seen Suri?

This is Slide #1 on the PowerPoint slideshow you guys need to present to new ownership to reflect the direction you would like to take right after a title card with some siiiiiiick word art

That wouldn’t be.... Nice.

I swear to God, if the new owners shut this feature down before they get to 69...

They have three sons: Baylen, Bowen, and Callen, and a daughter, Rylen.

“Typical. A little late tackling the O-ring problem.”

Zachary D. Manprin: Cardinal Fan or Schiano Man?

tfw you don’t get picked for a team but don’t want people to know that you’re deeply hurt and offended and you gotta play it cool

I made a new burner account because I couldn’t remember my password JUST to comment this BUT there is a book called “How to Disappear Completely” about anorexia where the author talks about how women who are small (petite and thin, basically) are romanticized to be mysterious and artsy because they are small (and/or…

the surface was, however, deemed perfectly acceptable for the women’s world cup.

In short, this is an adventure in Ross Douthat’s apocalypse of sexually liberated women and laws designed to harm families, but with a happy ending only he could write. Imagine if God met the man at Yale, but then took him to Hot Topic.

Look at the stars. See how they shine for you.

Even if he was an affirmative action admission all it would prove is that affirmative action kicks ass and is worth the investment, because we got Barack Freaking Obama out of it.

Also:

You’re not clever.

LOL, I’m sorry for the people who are upset about my actions. I was a very unwoke seven year old! The conservative kid gave us shit for being poor in turn. It was good-natured, bipartisan schoolyard fun.