It’s not surprising to find that none of the dishes include chocolate. It makes him throw up.

“A sandwich!”

Unbelievable. That guy must absolutely hate Russell Wilson.

“What advantages does this war have over, say, an ethnic cleansing, which I could also afford?”

Replacing your top guy with a total amateur is now the thing that America does with its most important jobs.

I’m already seeing articles with titles like “Where does this UNC team stand among the greats?” Fucking nowhere!

Rumor has it the cheerleaders were also part of a pyramid scheme.

The fact that Pence is so adamant about the rules makes me think that it’s a mix of paternalism and him having cheated at some point.

The really great thing is, you don’t have to be alone with a woman to take away her access to health care.

If Mark Davis doesn’t want fans to be overwhelmed at the new stadium, he should insist on a simple bowl design.

mr. delicious prior to joining the yankees organization

Gronk: *silently calculating*

hit two late homers

I always assumed Steve Bannon‘s origin story involved a bottle of Dewars and a tube of hemorrhoid cream exposed to Gamma radiation.

I’d tell you what I’d be moving up from the store brand mustard.

Due to the coloring of the court, every Wolves clip looks like a conspiracy theory video. Look at this picture and tell me that it doesn’t look like the Wolves player is possibly the second gunman.

“These people have awful names.”

My man in the lower left looks like he wants to party.

Replacing Durant with Barnes is like replacing Dom Perignon with a bottle of Korbel that’s been open for a week and a half.