NiceLady

8/31/16

Dammit, JilliHelen, I am going to need rehab for the spending bender you have lured me in to...

8/26/16

I was so excited (?) to see that Bridgeport wasn’t to blame!

8/25/16

I was just thinking the same thing, but embarrassingly I went to a much darker place: LiLo circa 2006. “It’s like yeah, motherfucker, I’m fine...”

8/17/16

Are we leaning toward a JilliHelen? Take your commissions, I need a new zit cream! (Anyone else staring 47 in the face, with a face full of the zits that leave holes in your face? Aging is fun.)

Are we leaning toward a JilliHelen? Take your commissions, I need a new zit cream! (Anyone else staring 47 in the…

8/17/16

With you all the way re: the Glo hydrating gel, but I swear, the CeraVe hydrating, plus a swipe across my hairline and eyes with a washcloth, does the trick...for eight bucks!

With you all the way re: the Glo hydrating gel, but I swear, the CeraVe hydrating, plus a swipe across my hairline…

5/17/16

Kym Johnson finally found her forever sugar daddy! I remember her trying to sink those claws in to Joey FatOne in his Dancing With The Stars days. Not sure who dumped whom...like, did she snap out of her pre-teen boy band groupie to girlfriend reverie? Or did his wife threaten to shank her?

4/28/16

“Steve Martin Has Peaked” reads ENTIRELY too close to “Steve Martin Has Passed” whilst power slamming Pinot Noir due to a delayed flight and an endless supply Pinot Noir.

4/4/16

While on tour with a marginally talented pop singer last summer, I learned that a lot of mics these days have auto tune type software built in to them:

2/8/16

Came here to sing the praises of the perfect Chemex 8 Cup, but may have left with a Bonavida.

11/24/15

just doing my part to keep austin weird. i’ll bring the vagisoft if you bring the rainbro and we can snuggle under the glow of the fluorescent lighting, savoring the blanton’s (or the el jimador silver or the deep eddy cranberry vodka or the pinot noir from new zealand). just don’t bring the canadian winter...

11/24/15

my office is a renovated storage closet. i mean, at least i have an office, even if it is poorly lit and extremely boomy....

11/13/15

well shit, is she still in London? i came over for a mere 36 hours (for a work thing) and i could have quite easily ended her and been back home before anyone cared to notice. i have failed myself. i have failed us all.

10/2/15

Ribbed Knit Leggings? Yes, $8 is a steal, esp from my beloved Nordstrom, but my experience with ribbed leggings (and yes, I have tried to love them more than once), left me with bulbous looking knee puffs that never went away. Not. Cute. So maybe if these were just for standing...?

9/1/15

I second (or third or ninety seventh) a weekly! You certainly seem to receive enough boxes to support one, plus the world would be a better, much prettier place!

8/21/15

Dammit! The Vizio 3851 is gone!

8/13/15

Pretty much ALL THE SHIT.

6/26/15

Who follows an Instagram account for a divorce attorney? And are they diving in to a swimming pool filled with all the money...? #TilDeathLOL

6/26/15

I haven’t owned a vibrator since I split with the boyfriend before my last boyfriend (holy shit, 2007...that can’t be right!). I have been promising myself a shiny new toy for YEARS.

6/24/15

I have been playing around with fragrance forever: Anais Anais and Obsession are the scents of my youth, then the syrupy sweets like Jovan Musk and Poison or (forgive me!) Giorgio of Beverly Hills and the nasty, sugary smells of the early Victoria’s Secret abominations...what a crime against all that is good in the…

6/24/15

I found an ancient bottle of Youth Dew when I was rummaging through my grandmothers garage recently (she passed in 2004 and I am pretty sure the box had been stored in the garage for at least 30 years prior). I should have kept it, but was too annoyed at my mother, yapping in the distance, to recognize what a truly…