If you spent part of your early twenties sharing space with this IKEA rug, say ‘aye.’

Thank you. I needed the trade name!

And they brought it home for American pharmaceutical companies to replicate. Result: Dexadrine!

Meanwhile, the rest of us are like:

i am extremely comfortable calling him and his boss coke addicts.

Hold my beer.

If it makes you feel better on the Berenstein Bears Earth President Biden is working on wrapping up peace in the Middle East. Something he has been able to focus on in his first term after President Gore stopped the massive terrorist attack bin Laden was planning and President Obama handled global climate change.

Sessions has to stay. If he left, and tried to go back to his old seat, he would have to fight incumbent Senator Luther Strange, who at 6 feet 9 inches, is the tallest member of the Senate.

Hands down, THE ABSOLUTE WORST part of having in-laws you like is the fact that, at some point, they will try to sell you shit. In my family, it’s been jewelry, pampered chef (a lot), wine, candles, some fucking grab-bag of random shit in a dumbass catalog that was clearly intended for elementary school fundraising,…

The world has not seen the likes of the celebration I will break out once this grifter clan is clad in orange and renditioned to some black ops prison. The fire will burn for YEARS.

Well, they call me Hangin’ Donny
Away boys, away
Well, they’ll never hang this body
And it’s hang boys, hang

Well, first they hanged my junior
Away boys, away
His sister and his brother
And it’s hang boys, hang

Well, next they hanged my lawyers
Away boys, away
Well, they’d hang all the staffers
And it’s hang boys, hang

Well, I’ll…

I want to believe. I absolutely, fucking do. But I’m also a cynical bitch who firmly believes that I’ll never be disappointed if I never get my hopes up.

Your unfrozen optimism is admirable, but if all the shit he’s done so far hasn’t made a dent in his reputation, this won’t either. What he said lo those many moons ago is true: he could fucking shoot somebody on fifth avenue and not lose a single supporter. The gullible anti-intellectual idiots have spoken and now we…

I’d like to remind you that George Bush, Dick Cheney, and the rest are walking around as free men right now, despite the fact that they lied to get America into an illegal war whose only purpose was to enrich themselves, resulting in the murder of literally millions of people and the formation and rise of Islamic…

Enjoy it, but be ready for a fight still to come. His supporters are not going to quietly and happily accept their Daughter-Fiddling Rotting Pumpkin Messiah being dethroned. Quite apart from the fact that the GOP will almost certainly move heaven and Earth to keep Pence out of it...the fight then will be to prevent a…

We all need to have a party...if it happens!!!

Be careful out there. It would be a shame if you never got to enjoy the world after trump.

You’ve still got a very long wait to come.

Drink something refreshing. May I suggest a good domestic.