BRB, giving myself a hysterectomy with kitchen utensils.

I went through my entire contacts list last night. Either every one I know is an upstanding citizen and loves their spouse or they are smart enough to use a throwaway email account.

Maybe they all smoked weed together? They seem like the type.

My very very beloved great-grandfather was called Poppy. I kind of like this...? Don’t hate me, but his first name was Herman, so there’s not really going to be a lot of honor naming of a Herman.

I used to frequent New York a lot as a kid (mom lived in PA, about an hour away), but I hadn’t been there as an adult until last Fall. It is HORRIBLE. Awful. Seriously, I would never in a million years live there. And I was there for a work trip and had to smile and nod every time some idiot was like “DON’T YOU JUST…

I had a toddler-like sob fest in The Louvre. I couldn’t help it. I am such an art history nerd (I was the only 8 year old I knew who poured over my mom’s art textbooks). I was SO excited to go, and was extremely let down when our tour guide told us that we would have FORTY FIVE MINUTES to walk through. At the end of…

For me, I lost 15 pounds my first year of college. It was the first time in my life I really used walking as my number one form of transportation, and it was the first and only time I exercised regularly. I was also falling in love with my boyfriend of 8 years at the time, so I think dopamine replaced food for the…

I have yet to meet a hot sauce that was too spicy for me. I know people hate that “I can eat anything” bravado, but when it comes to hot sauce, I can eat anything.

Hot Sauce Lovers of the World: Please list your favorite hot sauces.

Mango habanero wings is my JAM (with Yucateco hot sauce on top because I’m a masochist).

Maybe she doesn’t know any other way to describe why she doesn’t like a food (kind of like my mother in law doesn’t know another way to describe good-tasting food without using the word “fresh.”)?

I think if you’re not a morning person, no amount of internet articles are going to help you. I am a morning person, and I hate to be rushed for anything, so I tend to wake up 2-3 hours before I have to leave for the day. This gives me time to work out, take my dogs on a walk, clean a little, watch the news, have a…

I call that “The Target Haze.”

I believe the preferred nomenclature is “Jude Lawed.”

YOU GUYS:

Isn’t it weird to see his voice come out of an actual person? I had a hard time with his actual scenes (and not can version of Mitch after toxic sludge drowning) because to me, his voice belongs to a cartoon.

I also loved Mitch’s sly little mention to Beth. “You’ll run this camp so well, by the end of the summer, everyone will feel 15 years younger.”

The news room collective gasps to her “I can pass for 16 hairstyle” made me laugh way more than I should have.

We’re not even going to mention ANY of Elizabeth’s Banks’ outfits? Leather jacket/pencil skirt was giving me life, and I LOVED her high waist embroidered bell bottoms.

My boyfriend and I got into a heated discussion regarding Ken Marino’s pecs and if they are pec implants. He’s in good shape so part of me wanted to say no, but in the last episode, he honestly looked a little...breasty. I did a google search with no results. HELP ME END THIS DEBATE, INTERNET.