Can you and your atheist organization go help them? Please give them an alternative.

“I get up every morning and I make a fire. When I go to bed, I make a fire, just because—it makes me feel life. I just feel life in this house.”

HE SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE HANSEL FROM ZOOLANDER.

objets d’art always end up in buttholes. always.

“You can’t sit with us!”

Try driving in NZ for a day and then let me know if you still feel the same way. Those people are death on wheels.

Sorry sorry sorry I am going to be that guy and correct something that literally no one cares about, but Fitzy and Wippa are Australian radio hosts, not Kiwis.

“I would never want to feel like I was playing a character that was offensive.”

I know this is going to sound like sacrilege to some, but I feel like Fresh Prince was my generation’s (I’m 32) version of the Cosby Show. As in, it went a long way towards “normalizing” black families to white America. Of course, we could also make the argument that it was only palatable to said white America because…

Almost like she’s a real person with flaws. I hate this knee jerk reaction to people who say things that are sometimes incongruous with whatever message they’re putting out there. No feminist, no activist, no no one is perfect and has fully realized, fault free vision and action.

In the early ‘70s, NYC had a serious rat problem, which became a public health crisis. The city government decided that one effective way to inform the public about dealing with it would be through the children, so they had a series of informational assemblies at every school in the city.

Hot off the presses! The girl two cubicles over just had Botox and is telling people she’s just drinking more water and getting more sleep.

You are Sasha Farts.

I have a food baby bump after eating a massive burrito (enchilada style w/ red chile sauce in case you were wondering) and I’m also wearing a men’s XXL bright green t-shirt so am I Beyonce or am I Beyonce?

Some people really, really don’t like other people enjoying things.

I’m just gonna say it: I like Coldplay. I think Chris Martin seems like a really nice, sweet, nerdy guy AND I think he’s cute. I think themed parties are fun no matter how old you are. That’s it.

My favorite Kate McKinnon bit from last night:

Last week’s GIRLS episode was fantastic. Self-aware and on point.

Hey Bobby, where do watermelons go in the summer? Answer: John Cougar’s Meloncamp. Carry on.