I had a boss who’s brother looks a little bit like Keanu Reeves. He went to a bar and sat next to someone who looked like Keanu Reeves. Made about comment about which one looked more like Keanu Reeves. Bar Keanu Reeves said that Brother Keanu Reeves did. Bar Keanu Reeves was Keanu Reeves.

I fucking love Keanu Reeves.

Carlos Santana has spent the last 20+ years making tasteful, expensively produced, profoundly boring music for people who don’t really like music but enjoy shopping and wine. In Adele, he recognizes a kindred spirit.

Racism is when someone thinks a race a beneath theirs, this was not racism. She thought a kimono was hip and didn’t take into account the cultural significance.

Not even a little bit. That first tweet about how mean Nordstrom was for dropping her line didn’t come from Daddy’s phone, it came from her. She’s the one driving this whining. She’s Veruca Salt from Willy Wonka. (Her father is also Veruca Salt, in a weird twist.)

I feel like I’m the only person who thinks Balwin’s Trump is not actually very much like Trump. Baldwin plays him in a manly way, whereas the thing about Trump is that he’s like a dainty little boy. His voice is much higher than Baldwin plays it.

Also “projecting”. Everyone is either gaslighting or projecting.

Alt right, alt right, alt right!

I almost had a panic attack:

My 83 year old dad bought his own Lego set because he had so much fun playing with his grandson’s set.

Why are we singling out Taylor Swift for not going to the March? Would it have been nice for her to have attended to show her support— yes. But she certainly wasn’t the only female singer who didn’t attend.

I feel like Selena Gomez should be with someone less druggy than the Weeknd. This is your concerned older lady announcement of the day.

Jeff Sessions: Too racist for 1986. Just racist enough in 2017.

When life gives you Plemmons, make Plemonade is my motto!

Cheers to Jay for throwing something correctly.

WHO IS DOING BELLA’S MAKEUP, WHO? Her face is ten million shades lighter than her abs. It is not just lighting or flash. That is horrid and her MUA should be fucking canned. Good god. 1) Always match your foundation to your neck or as close as possible; 2) Blend until your hand breaks off; 3) If you’re tanning, have a…

Yeah, it was still not okay to seek out an Asian person you don’t know to have the white person guilt convo, and that is really how it looks to me. She joked about it afterward, but the feelings of having to hear/witness/be asked to be in that conversation must have been maddening.

Good for Lamar. The pro-active approach shows that he’s taking his recovery pretty seriously. I wish him the best. I’m planning on entering a residential treatment facility for depression after the holidays. I’m terrified but I can’t keep living the way I have been for the past 3 years. The hardest hurdle for me to…

Dear everybody, if somebody you know and love is accused of something horrible...It is fine to say nothing...It is fine to say that you do not know that situation, but you wouldn’t have thought that based on your own experience, but you just cannot know...It is fine to say that the accusations are horrible and that…

I used to work with one of Leroy Anderson’s children, who receives a wonderful check at the end of the fourth quarter every year.