I’m reminded of the time we were having a big group presentation, I forget the topic, and one of our attendees was a local weird dude - you know, the guy who bikes and/or walks everywhere, looks like he forgot the 60s ended, talks a lot of half-educated nonsense. Well, weird dude and his huge beard were sitting in the…

If a store had a policy not to give out straws, and I ordered to-go, I would be miffed. At my own home? Look, mom, I can drink out of a cup like a big person! That said, if I said I wanted something ordinary like a straw, and the server said the store management prevented them from providing it unless specifically…

This is my LIFE. I worked in mental health services for years, and.... yeeaahhh. Every day. I’m particularly impressed with Jessica Parker’s response to the manic pie-eater. It’s a fine line to walk between, “your behavior is weird and inappropriate” and “you’re fucking crazy,” and she did it beautifully.

Both are equally plausible. Accountant and Engineer are also up there.

Touching the judge is a very, very bad idea. My money is that this guy practices some kind of law that doesn’t involve much court time, if any. Corporate compliance, taxes, wills and estates are great for that. Especially with wills and estates, because the clients are dead. It’s their relatives you have to put up…

“I don’t care what you smell, get in there!”

Dammit, now I NEED to get an orange kitten and name it Harry Windsor.

Mara knows my life.

My aunt has a friend who rocks the Santa look - beard, belly and all. So they took my cousin’s kid to meet him one year and took pictures. They sent out framed pics of the kid with Santa Dude for Christmas, so I put it up on display.

I would love to work with people this devious.

Goddamn internet dust, getting in my face. The one about the extra tip from the baby was so freaking adorable I just want to go get a giant teddy bear and hug it all day long.

Seriously, I would not say no to that, but to have a child would mean being involved with the Windsors forever, even if it would be kind of like having one of King Robert’s bastard children, like a really delicious scandalous fun thing. Still, way more headache than I want out of a hot ginger!

There’s the bottleneck effect for you. Small gene pool.

At first glance I thought it said “The Weirdest Picture Ever,” and I was like, “yeah, pretty F’n creepy”. Then I read it again. Still accurate.

I believe making the white hipsters uncomfortable is a worthwhile goal.

All too true. I can, however, buy Amal as someone who doesn’t know when to stop talking about that serious thing that everyone knows is serious but it’s played as a conversation and can we please move on to something else?

Because nobody ever became prosperous by spending more money. Hire as few staff as possible and work their asses off - it’s what Jesus would do, obvs.

If I have to do a subtle cheek sneak in order to finish eating comfortably, I’ll take the chance. But to flagrantly lift up and toot, that’s just crossing the line.

Very reasonable, except that I’m pretty sure most human hair doesn’t have any DNA in it. Except for the tiny bit of skin at the base, hair is made of keratin and not cellular material.