Rumor has it that they make a passable calamari substitute when sliced, breaded and fried.

Bacon is a condiment.

“disturbingly unsafe cow ride”

Our seventh grade social studies teacher waxed poetic about how the ancient Mesopotamians veiled the bride after the wedding to symbolize that she was a married woman now, whereas we progressive modern people remove the veil. Even at that age, something inside me said that traditionally imposed rules about covering or…

No one cares about your stupid boner. Every sex ed class for boys should begin and end with chanting this phrase.

You are making too much sense. Cohen has a severe allergy to sense, crunchy things, the color red, and treating people like fucking human beings.

I know that hairdressers and other personal care workers are supposed to make at least minimum wage when they are an employee. If they are solo operators, contractors or business partners, that’s a different situation, but we don’t generally expect them to make up a gap in their basic wage with tipping. And yet,…

The year I was born! People did have plenty of sex then, and I think it was mostly to get OUT of the clothes.

I like it. Many of the show’s guests have discovered and discussed ancestral ties to history, notably including ancestors who owned slaves and ancestors who were enslaved. It’s probably one of the only places where we see people confronting that history so candidly and personally. It makes Affleck’s actions all the…

No, indeed.

By all means, it is better to err on the side of caution, but I think we can eat a simple meal in 45 minutes. 20 minutes, I would definitely not want to be a bother.

THEY ARE ALL MINE, ALL MINE, AND NOW I AM RICH. I WILL HAVE THE MOST PENNIES AND BE THE RICHEST. AMERICA IS BEST.

So many sociopaths running around among us. Be careful out there, people.

My boyfriend is polite about this to the point of almost being annoying. If it’s 8:05 and they close at 9:00, he gets worried. I’m sure the sight of an employee starting to clean up before close would give him a panic attack. Far better than the opposite, but still annoying at times.

I had the feeling reading this that these people had heard the commercials - “Better Ingredients, Better Pizza” AND TOOK THEM LITERALLY.

I’ve mentioned my ex-boyfriend’s terrible food pickiness before (leaned heavily towards hamburgers, pizza, and foods made from the same ingredients as these). All entirely the fault of his idiot parents whose only real option for home-cooked food was spaghetti and meat sauce. Everything else they ate was garbage.

Hey asshole, it’s Timmies, if you don’t know what you want by the time you get to the cash you’re life-ing wrong.

Lobster Lady clearly has magic powers.

As a cat owner, the answers are also apparently “Kill” “Fuck you, human” and “I own everything.”

True story: I was watching an awards show with my grandma and my aunt, and J Lo was on looking unbelievably gorgeous as always. My grandmother said something about why does she have to go around with her big butt sticking out. I told her that was racist. It’s the classic double standard: women of color do something…