Those stains are a bitch to get out, but they are so worth it.

That’s really funny, and I think it is entirely understandable to be afraid of touching something you are that allergic to.

My ex only ate two kinds of meat: pork and ground beef. No seafood at all, and no poultry, although you could get away with ground turkey if it was hidden under a lot of other ingredients. He also didn’t eat eggs unless they were scrambled and hated all kinds of squash as well as several other vegetables.

The firmest bits of the romaine hearts, chopped into small pieces, sprinkled over the top of two deep-fried egg yolks, delicately balanced atop a bed of anchovies and paremsan curls tossed with crouton crumbs. Served in a giant martini glass.

I thought it was to corrupt the minds of innocent Christians with all kinds of devil-worshipping, gay-loving, Unamerican, Communist propaganda? I mean, that’s what I was there for.

A country that once owned one third of what is now the U.S., without whom the colonists would likely never have won their indpendance from Britain. Your point?

I was convinced halfway through that this guy was used to drinking frappowappobullshits and thought he was being poisoned because his coffee actually tasted like coffee instead of sugar.

My bf’s sister spent some time in Hong Kong with her then-boyfriend, who was kosher. Whenever he ordered anything without pork, they assumed he was Muslim and would not bring him alcohol. He learned to order vegetarian instead, so they would assume he was Buddhist and bring him all the alcohol he wanted.

Rotisserie costs more, because EET EEZ FRAHNCH.

I baconed all over her face.

It’s an odd take on panzanella, but I would totally eat it.

When my BF’s cousin, a half-Irish half-Israeli American, married an Englishman, there were people in attendance from about 12 different countries. The groom’s brother had relocated to Australia years ago and was hands down the best person there to party with.

Definitely what the creepy old man says before the heros start getting bumped off one by one...

Being a bisexual woman is literally the least affected one can be by homophobia and still claim to be part of the LGBT umbrella. Trans women, particularly trans women of color, are murdered regularly. In contrast, bisexual cisgender women are a mildly interesting variation for the straight male gaze and in no way a…

When my BF orders two fingers of scotch, he likes to hold out his index finger and his pinkie. He would have been happy with the result in this story, even if it was the wrong liquor.

It absolutely is. “I don’t want your meatballs” is my new favorite way to tell someone to fuck off.

Today I am reminded of a story featuring my late, wonderful grandparents. While traveling in Baja California, they stopped at a little cantina to get out of the heat for a bit. They ordered beers. When the beers arrived, the glasses felt like they just came out of a steam bath. This was counterproductive to their goal…

The guy responsible for making the coffee for this event was the most clueless, unhygienic piece of crap I’ve ever worked with (outside of academia).

How I feel about today’s BCO: