I used to manage an apartment building for people with disabilities. One of the tenants would play loud video games. The lady living downstairs from him had severe mental health issues and believed quite sincerely that the FBI was interrogating and beating up people in the building. We started getting letters in…

Those tricksy potatos. Don’t trust em as far as you can throw em.

I believe that dissing someone’s BF and then acting like nothing happened when they get engaged, to the point of assuming inclusion in the wedding party, is a faux pas compounded with nonsense.

I know, right! I was like, of course she didn’t invite him, because if he showed up people would start saying “ROSS AND RACHEL LOL” and who needs that at their wedding.

Totally. Parents should teach those things. A lot of parents don’t for various reasons. Sometimes the parents themselves have no clue. Sometimes they believe that keeping their kids in the dark about adult subjects will keep them pure and innocent forever. Sometimes they would rather do everything for their kids well…

Fuck chickens. Don’t hold

I don’t think it’s a euphemism so much as UK-isms. I believe “High street” just means “where the fancy shit is.” And we use “gentleman’s club” here, too, so whatever.

Serious sex ed classes do exist, and some states actually do fund them, BUT they leave it up to the individual school boards and schools as to whether they want to implement them. FUN!

How about identifying bullshit comments?

Oh, the joyous truth. Working as a housing case manager, the agency had supplied us with a half-ton pickup with which we were to assist with client moves. No, we didn’t have any money in the budget to help them move, just the truck. So we drove the truck back and forth however many times it took, while the clients…

If I were going to put any instructions on a man’s dick, for real, German would be most appropriate. Stehen sie auf!

Oh for the Love of God. A woman made a sex joke! We should all take it literally and question her feelings and motives!

This is why it’s so awesome to be non-monogamous. All the stuff I don’t like gets outsourced. And vice versa.

That tattoo is in case he dies suddenly. For everyone ele it says, “If lost, return to Fatwillow.”

Selena’s hair and outfit are giving me 1979 Victoria Principal. I feel like someone’s about to try to sell me a breakthrough skin care regime while sitting on a white couch in soft focus at about 2:30 am.

She is the hero every server needs AND deserves.

This woman getting arrested was one of my favorites this week. Right behind Meatloaf People.

I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH THAT.

Getting that tattooed on my BF’s penis, brb.

Every. Single. Story.