Full zipper crotch and ass flap. Done.

I sleep scream sometimes. Scares the bf half to death.

I love freight elevators and would ride in them all day if I could.

LOLOLOLOLOLOL

I see a lot of myself in Hope, and I think the characterization of her work life is quite believable and probably fair. Going to graduate school is a stressful and often expensive proposition, which one typically enters with hopes of having a productive career. There is nothing wrong with volunteering or running a…

Doing your laundry at 11pm is great. Unless there happens to be an old man who lives in the basement apartment and pitches a ginormous fit every time someone even thinks about sneaking in a load after 9:00. He was the bane of the whole building - complaining about noise, sitting on the front stoop and trying to make…

It’s funny cause usually smells come FROM the moon... amirite?!

Exactly. I’m gonna show her what an INTERESTING and UNUSUAL person I am, and how I can make such INTERESTING and UNUSUAL things happen... like.... Pancakes! Oh how droll! It shall be spoken of for years to come!

In general if you’re making the same point 20 other people did, it’s a good idea to STFU.

I thought I once saw a device that purported to be a fake hand for signalling waiters, but when I tried to look for it all I got were “fake taxi handjob” videos.

RDJ can pose with Ferraris all day and all night as far as I’m concerned. He has gone through enough and done enough ironic self-deprecation, and brought joy to millions of people, including women like me who appreciate a smarmy wiseass, even if he is elitist. 10/10 still a fave.

Not even. Men who use vocal fry sound “gay.” It’s misogynistic, but like many forms of misogyny it gets used to target both women and men who fail to conform to norms of masculinity.

I’d like to express my concern at Sharon Stone’s new eating disorder. Devouring magazines is not healthy.

This is either the worst shop ever or they literally took a picture of a Kylie doll.

My mother calls Pharrell the Arby’s Hat Guy, and had no idea that Arby’s actually bought his hat and then tweeted about it.

I once worked in a building that had a freight elevator way in the back. It was the only way to access the mezzanine, which was literally a half-floor like in Being John Malkovich. That’s where we put the archives, and, as the assistant to the archivist, I went there a lot. I found that freight elevator to be very hot…

Frotteurism is indeed a thing. Pretty much always men who like to rub up against strangers for sexual thrills. If you haven’t encountered it, you are both lucky and someone who has never been on a busy subway.

This sounds like exactly the sort of thing my grandma would have done, except that I think she would have tried to make a joke or something after she realized her mistake. Then she would have commiserated with the staff and told them a story about one of us grandkids. She could admit she was wrong... sometimes... but…

It’s a character in EVERY John Waters movie.

I had the same thought, and still feel horribly deprived that I am not already familiar with this magical garlic spoon phenomenon.