I would do Miguel. But if there were two actual, living Minions in the room, I would be distracted by the fact that OH MY GOD THEY’RE REAL. Like, wtf.

The Friends slash fiction you always/never wanted!

Based purely on what seems to be popular on fetish sites and porn sites, it looks like Milennials’ sexual tastes have been shaped by a) a lack of family stability and b) a small army of child psychologists. Stepmoms and stepsisters are an indication of a lot of young people having new, non-blood-related people showing…

Because the 18-year-old hasn’t been doing porn for 7 years already. She’s new.

DAMN. That’s definitely the best worst Friendly’s story. I used to like Friendly’s more, when I first moved to Upstate NY. Now it feels like a grease pit. The one that was closest to my house in Albany was constantly full of rowdy teenagers. Food all over the floor, can’t hear yourself think, etc. But the one in the…

In more ways than one, it seems.

I know, right? I was sure it was going to turn out that the window worker was somehow taking another customer’s order but still talking to the OP’s car.

I would have paid so much more attention to English History if there were more smart-ass dwarves, naked boobs, and weird supernatural shit.

I can maybe count a few times when I ate carrot cake and was disappointed. It is my favorite kind of cake, so I guess I’m biased. Grandma used to make it and her recipe was great. I’m all about the golden raisins.

Totally agree. I went to a place that claimed to be a steakhouse once and ordered a lovely piece of meat that had been cooked nicely - but with absolutely NO SEASONING at all. I was very disappointed.

I tell them to cook it “as rare as you dare.” If the establishment insists on getting it a few shades less red than I would do it at home, I’m okay with that. I’ve had servers pointedly ask me exactly how rare I wanted it. I told them that red and cool in the center was my preference, and that is what I got. I just…

Shut it right now. Carrot cake is delicious.

Just what does the chef whip, eh?

I’ve eaten many disappointing cookies, so I can relate. However, I’ve had the pleasure of being fed Pop’s Cookies. Pop is my beloved’s grandfather, who, after a long career as a police officer and a construction foreman, turned to baking as a hobby. Like everything else he has ever done, he endeavored to get it…

I have successfully transitioned my beloved from eating hockey pucks to eating actual meat. He is very happy that I initiated him into our delicious cult.

This is an outrage; I am deeply offended at this treatment of our fighting men and women.

Yeah, they tend to be not very big on mainstream medical treatment. I bet they fear that if vaccines are required, parents could also be required to get proper psych treatment for their kids as well. Either that or you’re supposed to get immunity from all diseases when you get to OT III, so they don’t think they need…

Ugh. Imagine if there was no middle-man, just that server and a confused elderly person.

*slow clap* Well played!