The possibility that the fight might turn into kissing is a big draw for me. Either way, would pay to see it.

There is a scary discount deli in Albany, NY called The Deli Warehouse. Ever the provocateur, my ex’s mother insisted on calling it the deli whorehouse. To which I could only ask, “do they beat the meat?” I can’t tell you how satisfying it was to see this woman act shocked while everyone laughed, after years of…

If you don’t know how to pronounce it, just go with the flow and say “rooster sauce,” like my mother. Rather than mangle a word she doesn’t know or try to remember a name, she just goes with the descriptive name instead. Like, she just calls Pharrell “Arby’s Hat Guy.” Makes life easy.

I gave my friend a big collage frame full of photos of us together, from age 6 to the time of her wedding. She said it was her favorite gift, followed closely by the decorative silver plate bowls her aunt gave her, which were not on her registry.

I guess the kids don’t do that anymore? Like, they’re not radical like we were. No neon-pink elbow pads, no hypercolor shirts, no gnarly tricks. Just tattoos, babies and ill-fitting bathing suits, apparently. Everyone always says the kids should get off their Nintendos and go outside, but they try to go to the beach…

As a girl who grew up without my father, just let her know that she can come to you with any and everything, and that you will not blow up or shame her, especially for things that have happened TO her. I missed having that comforting, protective male attention in my life. Also, give her every opportunity to let her…

I was about 13 and on vacation with my grandparents. I was wearing this high-cut culotte romper over my bathing suit near the beach, and some teenaged boys looked at me funny. My grandmother commented, “Looks like young men are noticing you.” I was SO embarrassed. I’m not used to getting a lot of that kind of…

“Naked and Afraid” is what I call my bedroom.

Ourweddingbetterthanyoursthatsright.com

It seems entirely apropos in this instance.

They gave it to me one time, when I presented with a fever, vomiting, and severe headache. Later they gave me phenol-barbitol, gel lidocaine and maalox. I think their approach was to make me calm and then make me not want to stay in the hospital.

The kindly, courteous library of old is no more. They have computers now, you know. And people have a first amendment right to look at whatever they like. Once they start spankin the naked mole rat, that's where their rights end and the security staff come in. We're also not going to sponsor your campaign for…

A Thai place in my college neighborhood did this for a friend of mine who went in at least once a week. She had two dishes that she alternated, and they ALWAYS knew which one she would want when she went in. When I was going into my senior year, and she had graduated, we went there together and the owner hugged her…

One time I went to the local Subway later in the evening during high school. The only remaining staff was a middle-aged dude in a buttoned shirt and tie - the manager or assistant manager, I'm assuming. I ordered my veggies and cheese and asked him to put a little extra mayo. He smiled and said, "Wouldn't want a dry…

Working at the library, aka the day care center for unoccupied adults, the elderly were especially prone to THROWING their library cards at me and demanding their books on hold, what have you. As opposed to the other times, when we would ask for the library card and get a blank stare. For the same reason, when people…

Thank you. This is all very thoughtful and important information. I have been on every SSRI there is, dealt with the side effects, and had varying degrees of success. I have found that celexa and lexapro are fairly effective at controlling anxiety and panic disorder, but I still feel somewhat depressed. There is a lot…

My grandmother taught me that in a good marriage there are three entities: My life, your life, and our life together. All three must be in good working order for the marriage to thrive. Having some separate space from each other, whether it be the toilet, the tv, or whatever, is a healthy thing that helps everyone…

Cats are great at that. They also think that dangling rope ends are for them to play with.

Schindler’s Bike is going to be the name of my band.

D- - Getting hit on by the guy who vapes outside the grocery store.