The hottest nightclub in town is... HELL. It has everything: Saddam Hussein, KY super soakers, third leg warmers....

we don’t need no water, let the motherfucker burn.

Babies work for less DOUGH?!

The only look to wear when yelling: “C’mon Dover, move your bloomin’ arse!”

“I made a desert with my abortion and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.”

I am turning 60. I do not give one fuck what the artist considers appropriate for someone else. If I want a neck tattoo, chances are at this age i will not live long enough to ever regret it. Besides, if I want my husband’s name in comic sans on my neck I’ll get it. We’ve been married 36 years. He’s a real keeper. I…

holy shit i’m going to get one that says HAAAANH

Get one that says “Hawn” and hang out together.

Strangely enough, the overwhelming majority of men have difficulty locating this statue.

You mean a long face?

PLEASE TELL ME THE THEME WAS “CANDY MOUNTAIN, CHARLIE!”

And everywhere else :)

“ Like this, for example: “Haribo gummy dinosaurs speed up your metabolism because their shape is interpreted by the body as predatory, causing them to be processed by the digestive system more quickly than other gummies. That seems scientific to me.” See? Gorgeous.” This is gorgeous.

First off: APPLAUSE. Loved this, Sarah.

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I see you Caitlyn with a C.