I wonder if the "bee farm" is like the pretty farm out in the country my childhood dog Hank got to go to when we'd had him for over 12 years...

I have already been on my own personal Target boycott after I stopped to check out the plus-size stuff while shopping for household items a couple weeks ago and found TWO racks. That's it. And one of those racks had a fair number of size 2 and 4 items on it - no, not 2x and 4x, TWO and FOUR. So, to hell with…

You are in my mind, and that's where I live. *crosses arms and looks defiant despite being utterly wrong*

"Countess" seemed a bit formal...

Neither, it was on the post Joel Johnson made announcing the suspension of GIFs.

I acknowledged your loss on Twitter this morning. I have faith we will all recover, madam! (also I guess I just doxxed myself but I've never been a super-secret poster anyway).

My husband and I just celebrated our 10th anniversary and we're the same and it freaks people out.

I liked him better when he was fat. No, I really still like him.

*dance* DICK PIC FREE STILL! My husband occasionally threatens to send one just to break the trend but he's either too lazy or too shy (my money is on the former).

I love the specifity of "grab...like that" and "in a math class!"

Those are NOT knockoff Tater Tots. They're knockoff Crispy Crowns. GOD, why do I hang out with such dilettantes?

And that's why they call it the "breakdown lane."

Just wait til they find out that the "Mark of the Beast" was actually 616, not 666: http://www.radiolab.org/story/91517-th…

Actually, "Prison Wine" is my vagina's nickname.

We used to WoW raid with a guy who had custody visits with his kid, and would have to take a break to get the kid ready for the mother to pick up. He'd admit to also being drunk and on pills - and trust me, he was being judged in private chat and it had NOTHING to do with caring for his kid and everything to do with…

I'm eight years older and suddenly feeling like a dewy young lamb.

You're fine, as long as you're not also "rat shit", "shards of glass" or "some other thing a crazed employee off his/her meds might add to your food" sensitive.

Time Warner Cable is excellent at responding to customer complaints via Twitter when their piece of shit local customer service is useless.

I think that's just a "jet". I guess. I...am going to take a shower now.

So, I can't keep calling those brown sugar dessert bars "blondies" anymore?