Probably best they didn’t take Gronk’s suggestion of the Fighting Sioux Flays.

A scholarship to an SEC school.

That's awful. Speaking as one who lost a parent years ago, I couldn't fathom losing two in the same day.

Now is my time to shine and I got nothing.

it tastes and smells like 91% rubbing alcohol.

Nothing more reliable than a 10-year-old news item!

Smirnoff, Absolut? Belvedere, Chopin, Deep Eddy’s need to be on this list.

Grognak the Destroyer costume + Sack hood or gtfo.

Man, this hockey season is just flying by - usually you have to wait until the first round of the playoffs to see footage of caps getting knocked out

Doubtful. He hasn’t had an upper decker since 2011.

Haha. Jesus man. Want a tiny violin?

I’m not sure what you’re going on about. They’re the best undefeated 8-1 team in the NFL.

8-1 is perfect. They’re going undefeated, 15-1 this year.

It may not be perfect, but at least they are an undefeated 8-1.....

Commentator: “Cam’s like a kid out there. He’s a gunslinger”

White guy reporting in. Cam Newton is great. I love to see someone having fun.

Hopefully we hear nothing about his sore bae.

Little known fact: Sue Flay is actually married to Tom Brady’s buddy, Dee Flate.

Now that the Cowboys have all their weapons back on the field, there might finally be some room to sit down on Greg Hardy’s futon.

[Nick Collison sits up suddenly, wide-eyed]