She’s not a heartless, child-kicking racist. She’s a heartless, child-kicking, LITIGIOUS racist. Duh.

Some of us were alive and entering teenhood in 1977. I had that striped cowl-neck sweater in the second picture. I may have had more than one, in different colours. Everyone had one.

Cut out a hole in the seat, like a hemorrhoid chair, then paint in that cutesy fucking font:

If I’m paying 31 million buckaroos for my wedding, it must include Idris Elba interrupting the proceedings, declaring his everlasting love for me and marrying me on the spot while David Bowie sings “Life on Mars.” For starters.

I just flew in an Airbus 380, and the first class restroom was in no way fancier than the economy one. I know this because the flight attendant’s cart was blocking the economy restrooms, and allowed my sickly self to use the ones in front. This was Air Canada, so maybe they’re too polite to make the distinction?

How about you don’t have sex in what basically amounts to a public washroom that everyone one board will be forced to use at least once if it’s a long haul flight? Like seriously, how selfish can you be? Do I really want some strangers sex fluids in my vicinity when I’m already dealing with a hundred other peoples…

Don’t have sex on a plane!

You may not mind, Justin, but the rest of us do.

From the WaPo article: “Ferreira then allegedly had sex with her body before burying her under the porch.”

Well, generally speaking, modern culture isn’t big on sweeping murder under the rug, or convincing people who’ve survived attempted murders that it was just a misunderstanding (and possibly one they themselves are responsible for), or glamorizing murder for advertising. Nor are there sweeping narratives dedicated to…

As John Oliver so rightly pointed out, the “liability reasons” thing is actually a huge myth that most restaurateurs believe in:

Someone is missing out on a cool af MIL.

Considering her mother sounds like an exceptionally wonderful human, going on her honeymoon with her mother is the opposite of embarrassing.

The bride not being able to be there points out how truly painful it really is and somehow makes the generosity even more profound to me.

Meet my research-retiree, Syrio:

Using this article to once again spread one of my favorite messages PLEASE ADOPT!

Looks to me like a case of asshole (swerving into them) on asshole (speeding recklessly, passing in a no passing zone, no safety clothing) crime.

Hooked up with an old friend a few months ago after a major breakup (my own); he got suuuuper weird afterwards and I too am feeling like he regrets it because I wasn’t as attractive naked as he expected or something. I really thought I would be the one to get weird, if someone did, since he has done this with other…

I haven’t smoked since Sept 24!!!!!!!!!!! And I’ve started running again and wow, I can breathe. Sometimes I take a deep breath and I’m genuinely surprised how good it feels and that I don’t start coughing like crazy. Amazing.