OMGOMGOMG DON'T PULL IT DOWNWARD OR TRY TO BEND IT!!!!

Dude, you can't go wasting your comedy talents on us! Go start your standup career! "Women, I just don't understand 'em!" is the freshest angle I've heard all year.

So.... car salespeople should treat all women as though they're your wife? I don't follow your logic.

I know— treating women the same is a totally radical concept, right?

I love root beer barrels...

I have fond memories of that magazine. As a preteen in the late 60s, I actually looked forward to going with my mother to visit her aunt every few months. While they talked in the kitchen in hushed tones about adult subjects - who was having marital issues, fertility issues, menopause etc. - I'd be sitting quietly in…

They make me feel like a normal sized person because over-the-knee boots become regular knee-high boots on super tall folk and it is glorious. Ditto to tunics being normal length shirts on us.

Everyone please continue to do your part in keeping overly long clothing styles popular. Thank you.

Not a restaurant, but I manage a cinema in which the following exchange occurred last night (translated from French):

"Do you want butter?"
"No, I want a Pepsi."

What? I always have lox on hand, that's how much I love it. Smoky, buttery goodness. I eat it a couple times a week. Maybe you don't like fish or maybe you haven't had any good nova lox.

You are wrong.

You're not from 'round here, are ya? There's nothing better in the world than a good smoked salmon benedict. Nothing.

We stopped at a fast food joint in a rural farming community on a road trip recently. It was 105 degrees out that day. My husband overheard the table next to us in a conversation. One woman was telling her friend that her husband came home with a wind machine that you put in the window or door and it blows air into…

You realize you are the outlier here, right?

I have a weird restaurant experience question-

I love lox. If it smells like rotting fish, then it is no wonder you don't like it because that is a sign that it is, in fact, rotting!

Step down son, smoked salmon is the shit!

Confirmation bias. I know dozens of people who love lox in particular and smoked salmon in general, myself included.

I beg your pardon, I LOVE lox. Especially with cream cheese on a fresh chewy bagel. Nom.

My older, adult sister, and I were driving through Texas. My sister had fallen asleep for a while. I had stopped at a Dairy Queen for dinner and she woke up as I pulled in. I went to the bathroom while she waited in line. I got back and walked up to her at the counter, just as this exchange happened.

That lox stock photo at the top of the page reminded me of a strange coworker I had. This is not a restaurant story, but worth telling: