Do shut up.

And for the record, if hitting kids worked you'd only have to do it once. If you're hitting your kids every couple of weeks you're an abusive fuck-up of a parent and in need of serious help. I hope you don't do that to your kids. Kids die on the inside first.

Look Shakes, I'm going to ask you this in all seriousness. When did your parents stop beating you? I'm guessing you're going to say when you were old enough to understand what they were saying. But whose fault is that when you are 3, 4, 5 years old and you cannot understand why your behavior is wrong (you're just…

As an adult your issue is that you talk about yourself waaaaay too much and, god damn, do you brag. No one cares about your boulder-moving childhood. You sound like a weirdly abused and abusive personality. All you talking ain't helping.

Dude, you're like Superman or some shit. Boulders THREE TIMES YOUR SIZE? Fuck, yeah!

Was waiting for this reply and many like it. Glad you saw the value of your beatings and hope your kids enjoy them as much as you did.

The victims of abuse are usually the first ones to defend it, just as you have. I'm sorry you were forced to do hard labor as a child, and also beaten as a child. Even tho you are not.

Phew, thank god they kept that uber-distraction Michael Sam off an active roster, huh guys?

Sure, if you call what the Twins do baseball

Note to self: do not get born to Adrian Peterson.

I love "harridan."

The years have taught me that this is the way most females prefer to flip the bird. I don't know why.

It's a West Coast thing I think. But if someone if flipping me off like that, I can't take it seriously. It's just looks like a child throwing a tantrum.

Why is it that people who are not from the East Coast are seemingly incapable of properly flipping the bird? Just make a goddamn fist and then stick your middle finger up. How tough is that? Jesus....

The kid in the passenger seat gave it that extra touch of redneck sadness.

The NFL's explanation just got JACKED! UP!

BREAKING: Out in hives: Roger Goodell

Holy shit, in fielding that question, Tyson really chewed him out, really gave his interviewer an ear full.

Furthermore, if you burners continue to call me a "celsius" (whatever the hell that is) you will be dismissed.

.413 is like surgical anesthesia.