“Hi doggie!”

If you haven’t already, go check out “The Founder.” It’s all about the origins of McDonald’s as a small family owned diner with innovative meal service that was turned into a behemoth by Ray Kroc, but at the expense of much of what made it special, namely fresh, quality ingredients. It’ll make you wish you could’ve…

I prefer my Micky D’s frozen. Means less can go wrong.

Wendys’ ads were dumb. Why does every commercial have to talk directly to me with big block letters like it’s my goddamn pal? It’s the WORST.

When you freeze your meat, do you simply toss it into a big freezer, or do you flash freeze it so it’s frozen in seconds?

Yes, of course this is a response to the Wendy’s marketing. Wendy’s has been hammering on “fresh, never frozen” for years now, and apparently someone at McD’s decided the concept has legs.

Never understood the importance of “fresh, never frozen” beef either. I suppose it says something about the origin and or “freshness” of the beef. If it really is never frozen, you know at the very least it hasn’t been sitting around since the Reagan era. However, if the taste is what’s important, freezing doesn’t…

Wake me when the FDA recognizes Vitamin R

they gotta add “cromulent” next year. it’s much more cromulent than embiggen.

Craptacular is a Simpsons coinage? I honestly thought it was just a general slang term. I googled around a bit and found it described as 1990s North American slang, which is certainly compatible with a Simpsons reference. But this site lists The Critic as an early source. Hm...

Meh

they’re going to look downright adorable while doing so.

Yeah, he’s made it clear that he’s a huge rap fan——that’s why he wanted the Roots to be his backup band on the show, and why he loves to lip-synch rap songs (or just rap himself.) It’s easy to hate on Fallon, but the thing is, he’s actually improved as a host over the years (I couldn’t believe that he even got picked…

She’ll make sure the votes were counted correctly, since Asians are good at math

The only bad thing I can say about this is it’s a pain in the butt administering the program on the local level. But it’s more than worth it to get books to kids, so I hope Dolly forgives our occasional grumbles. What am I saying? Of course she does, the woman is a goddess!

This is a rare Correct Take. Well done!

in what universe did papa johns ever make ‘medium-good’ pizza? the only pizza they ever were better than was dominoes, and even they turned it around and overtook them years ago. i will eat months old no-brand gas station pizza before i eat papa johns

^ Correct answer.

Mayor MCcheese will have you thrown in jail for that

Any opportunity not taken to ask about “Herman’s Head” is a wasted opportunity.

All Hail the Lizard Queen!