When that song came out, I remember getting into an argument with someone because I insisted the lyrics were: Despite all my rage I am still just ready to cave.....

Zaxby’s, Guthrie’s, Layne’s, it’s not a terribly unique concept.

I used to laugh at those posts that said, “I earned $415,000 from working at home.” Turns out they were laughing at me. At me.

Reminds me of this:

If they were any more deceptive in their practices, these scammers would be running a record label in America.

except Popeye’s

Exactly, every person is different and the optimal diet is different for everyone and is vastly different depending on activity level and many other factors.

My children (4 and 2) do not yet know that sugary cereals exist or what they are like. I really want the Mario cereal for myself but I’m hesitant to open that Pandora’s box.

That’s one of those things that will be impossible to know for certain. The problem is that any good data that comes out can easily be drowned out by bad actors on either side. It’s such a complex issue with so many variables that it makes it too easy to massage the numbers into whatever proves your point.

How about, instead of disgusting mushrooms we mix the beef with bacon?

Counterpoint: mushrooms are terrible.

I steadfastly refuse to eat anything that is grown in cow poop. Or any kind of poop, really.

Fuck a stamp. Put him on the $20 bill.

For those who have never seen it, Mr. Rogers defending PBS to the U.S. Senate...

Let’s bee friends!

I choo choo chews you!

Unless my boyfriend proposes with an onion ring a la the Simpsons, I am *not* accepting.

There’s a great line from ‘Bend It Like Beckham’ where a mother is trying to convince her daughter not to play soccer: “All I’m saying is, there’s a reason why Sporty Spice is the only one without a fella!”

My squint-and-it’s-relevant anecdote about marriage and hamburgers is I got my wife’s engagement and wedding rings from a jeweler in Minneapolis who works out of an old White Castle. He also repairs and sells accordions as well as gives lessons, so there’s really no one else I’d want to give my money to. 

How would that work on a practical level? I mean I don’t even know your friends!

I got yelled at on the street by a passing car in Philly for being at the "wrong" cheesesteak joint. Food rivalries are weird.