Like Susan G. Komen. They’re aware of breast cancer. They’re so aware that they make millions off breast cancer’s existence. They’re just not going to actually do anything about it.

Go Scubs! — bandwagoners

Birdland is clearly number one

Alternates:

In a related story, here’s a shot of the latest stop of Joe Paterno on his apology tour.

Joel Embiid is a restricted free agent at the end of next year. Tell me with any authority you know whether or not he should be signed. So far he’s played 31 games. Somebody will offer him a max deal. This offseason that’s about $23M per year, and it’s probably going to go up the year after. That’s a lot of money for…

All of this allegedly puts a former Mexican tabloid executive in the locker rooms of the last three Super Bowls, surreptitiously nabbing incredibly valuable sports memorabilia right from under the noses of at least dozens of people, only to get caught a couple years later. This is the greatest story.

And if you could make an argument for one deserving it, it was probably Wisconsin - who naturally got an 8 seed...

No team from the B10 deserves anything higher than a 5 seed.

“They’re trying to become the World Cup. But they’re not even close to being the Little League World Series.”

It’s a little complicated. It can mean “male prostitute”, it could simply be “bitch” (but like “bitch” directed at a dude), and it could simply be used to emphasize something, the way English speakers use “fucking” as an adjective. But any argument that it’s not homophobic is, at best, disingenuous, I think.

PASSIVE OR POWER? IT MATTERS

Pretty sure if I ever met a kid named Rayden I’d find his parents and give them high fives.

Chill Lax bro names, these are not.

“These people have awful names.”

My man in the lower left looks like he wants to party.

“Yale COULD use an international airport, Mr. Burns.”

Yeah, Jeets.

Not sure if you’re aware, but Salt Lake City is known not only for its incredible jazz music scene, but also for its large Spanish-speaking population. It makes total sense.

How could you bring up the fact that America is trying to steal Europe’s footy culture without the history and not bring up Real Salt Lake (the official team of the king of Utah, I guess?).