No celeb encounters here, but a FB friend met him at the stage door of She Loves Me and said he was so nice and gracious even though they were basically babbling like lunatics.

I truly don’t understand Kanye’s irritation at Kourtney’s question about the contact lenses. Is it infantalizing to ask someone who wore a wig to a party how they felt about having blonde hair? That’s basically the same thing.

I give you a “shut your pie hole”

God damn, I just laughed so hard. Thank you for this.

I'm going to tell my son about this and be the best mom for a day or two.

Daaaaaamnnnnn

The rest of him is pretty alright too! Call me, DJ!

Oh, yeah...that’s the stuff. Thank you for the greatest post on Jezebel ever, Ellie. btw, why haven’t they made Turkish oil wrestling an olympic event? Seems like some kind of anti-Turk bigotry to me.

I miss Thighlights.

me if i ever see these thighs in real life

I still feel bad he and Jess couldn’t make it work. They were both so incredibly sexy, and together the sexiness increased exponentially. Yummy yum yum.

I want a Shazam app for commercial voiceovers

The best way to make sure I draw a blank on a song is to preface it by asking “what’s that song, the one that goes like this?” You could say that and proceed to sing the Happy Birthday song and I will legit scream that I totally know this one but give up after a solid hour of thinking. So this game show is my…

Always willing to help out Team Sex:

I'm most certainly a baby elephant face-planted in the sand.

Sufficiently Jezebel + Olympics + Team Sex appropriate?

My husband once found googley eyes at work and brought them home. He placed them on everything in the refrigerator. It was very strange waking up at 6am and everything looking at me

No! If I fell while wearing a sousaphone I would have hurt a lot more than my butt!

I’m not really Tina Belcher, either.