Welcome, friend.

I legitimately didn’t know he did that. I’m sad. I’m not comfortable hating on him for alcoholism, but the abusive thing was new information to me. Sounds like being off TV is where he should be, then.

I... I feel weird. I’m into it. I’d try it.

*beep*
“What’s that?”
“Oh, just a text.”
“From who?”
“.... My vagina. BRB, it’s morphin time.”

(Morphin time is what I’ll say in the future when I empty my robot blood cup.)

It’s like, yeah, I like to touch beautiful things too, guys. Reggie has a gorgeous head of hair. But it’s not mine to touch. It’s HIS HAIR. ON HIS HEAD. THAT IS HIS. BECAUSE IT’S HIS HEAD. Not to mention, as you said, the several several layers of problems with white people in general, touching black hair. My best…

Agreed.

I care about clarity AND feelings.

Scott, you strange, meta TV diamond, I will miss you.
I invite you all to a Scott Disick gif party, a farewell to this fancy, fancy man. Time: Right now. Place: This comment thread. BYOGif.

I have an inexplicable affection for him too. He seems fame hungry and judgmental to me as well, but like, he also once bought and used a fancy man’s cane for no real reason and how do I dislike someone who does that?

What’s the opposite of crashing that wedding? I’m going to do whatever that is.

It’s probably getting drunk by myself, which I was going to do anyway.

Happy Anniversary!! I hope tomorrow is even cooler than your cool wedding, cool lady.

ETA: Saying the word ‘cool’ so many times has started to look sarcastic, when I mean genuine well wishes for your day tomorrow. I’m not changing it though, because I DO hope tomorrow is cool and I think you’re a cool lady and as we…

Kitchenette, bb.

This. Every goddamn time someone in that party says, “We care about women!” my head explodes. Because no, no they fucking don’t care about women. Every possible opportunity they’ve had to demonstrate how much they care about women, they instead take a shit and marvel at what a great shit it was.

Oh my god, this is so beautiful.

Absolutely agreed. No buts about it.

It’s all I can think every time I use an outhouse/port-a-potty type thing. There are spiders everywhere, hiding, waiting to crawl up my butthole.

If I can’t make someone laugh by typing ‘rustycunts’ in all caps, why even bother going on the internet, really?

“What even are boobs” is the important question we should be asking here. (Legitimately, though, sometimes I look at mine and I’m like, “These are crazy, we grew crazy chest bags. Humans are weird af.”)

Even the model is bored in this dress, and she’s being paid to wear it. The face she’s giving makes me feel like the dress is itchy all over. Or possibly that she’s trying to quietly blorp out a fart.

I feel like my boobs would look crazy in this thing, is what I’m trying to say.

This made me immediately go buy the album. I am LOVING IT. Thank you!