I WILL NOT.

Where the fuck do I buy a JAR of oreos? I need a jar. A jar of oreos seems right.

very popular on gay sites.

What... is that jar his junk keeps bumping into in that last gif? A sexy bed jar of spare change? I’m mesmerized.

Oh, I will.

Awwww yeeeaaah, all that sexy Florida air and sexy Florida smells. What’s that sexy sound? Yelling tourists? Oh boner, contain yourself.

I’m picturing Kylie aggressively pulling her own finger, farting and looking Sarah Harris right in the eye. Beautiful.

This is deeply, deeply upsetting.

I like it.

My favorite episodes are when they eat stuff because it seems so unnatural, like they’re from an entirely different planet, where they don’t eat food, and their mouths chew like they’re trying to approximate human behavior.

It’s fantastic and I recommend that tumblr to anyone in need of a solid giggle.

My profile image? It’s a picture I cribbed of Edith from Downton Abbey from the tumblr- http://edithwithgooglyeyes.tumblr.com/. I know nothing of photoshop, but I feel like that’s the ticket. Or MS paint and some healthy doses of the copy/paste feature? Basically my answer is very unhelpful, you’re welcome.

UGH MOM STOP STACKING ALL THE CHAIRS ON THE TABLE AND BLEEDING ON THE WALLS. I’LL DO MY LAUNDRY WHEN I WAAAAANT.

You rebel!

NEVER feel weird about ice cream. Ice cream is pure and good and all ice cream choices are good ice cream choices.

Controversial opinion: Leftover pie is better than fresh pie.

I am far too distracted by Prince Ginger Beard to caption anything but the dirty dirty fantasies happening in my brain.

(Or, fuck it, anytime.)

Bacon as a verb is giving me uncontrollable giggles. Specifically to “Bacon on” something. My imagination is having the best time over here.