This chart is all I need.

Really? Because my girlfriend thinks the perfect temperature is “HOW HOT CAN WE MAKE THIS SHIT OH IT’S 90 OUT LET’S TURN THE HEAT ON IN THE CAR WHY ARE YOU SWEATING LIKE THAT?”

He’s on a beach somewhere with the real Melania.

The Intervention. Clea Duvall wrote it I think and it’s also got another one of the ladies from But I’m a Cheerleader.

I stole that movie from Blockbuster in high school. I hate that I just wrote that sentence. It’s such an amazing film from the cinematography to the set dressing to the soundtrack to just everything.

The Trump administration has *weaponized* feigning incompetence. They’re intentionally dismantling this country and making it look like they're just comically bad at running it.

The “joke” is that God is also wondering why they’ve ditched the swimsuit competition. And see it’s “funny” because he used a phrase that’s “overused” by “liberal snowflakes” hurr hurr hur. And also God is supposed to be omniscient so the “joke” has “layers!” It’s like a misogynistic, Christian cake with whipped meme…

Sterling Washington, the guy he and his wife use to act out their bbc cuckold fantasies.

They need to apologize for being offensive.

The best part is, the name means “mighty warrior.”

claiming the skit had not been in the competition’s script and had not been authorized by the board

We’re all pretty lucky that this collision didn’t tear open a portal to the asshole dimension.

If only they’d waited a few years they wouldn’t have had to pay for it!

Portland is liberal in the sense that white people move there to do drugs and be shitty hippies unmolested by the worries of the multiracial world.

All the Dunkin Donuts franchises near me are owned and pretty much exclusively staffed by South Asian families, so the idea that this sign would even exist in a Dunkin Donuts is just ridiculous to me.

You’ve never just torn into a rotisserie chicken? It’s like those turkey drumsticks at the renaissance fair but you can share the love.

To clarify, you’re saying that the people trying to tell other people what to eat and where are the crazy townie cult killers, right?

According to the training video I watched years ago at my old retail job, you’re a racist monster for telling people not to eat fish in an enclosed space.