I’ve got hundreds of DNA matches with some degree of Native American DNA (which, incidentally, includes all of North and South America) who don’t identify as Native American while simultaneously I’ve got matches who are legit members of tribes who have very little in the way of NA DNA.

In my DNA matches I’ve got a guy who is a member of a Federally recognized tribe and works at a casino on a reservation and according to his genes, he’s less than 3% Native American.

I made the mistake of trying t get more information and really regret that rabbit hole.

It’s not for you. It’s for racist white dudes who also happen to hate women.

Note: Poochie “accidentally” ingested polonium on the way back to his home planet and then fell down the stairs onto 20 bullets.

5) Now that the foot’s in the door and she’s “liberated” public funds for private schools... oh, hey Jesus, come on in and meet the children.

The thing I love most about her is that she plays all these intensely confident, bold characters, then goes on the talk-show circuit wearing all these ridiculous/amazing vintage/avant-garde outfits, then proceeds to just demonstrate how she is an awkward, introverted homebody who likes to stay home, read, and knit.

I kind of want to submit the text of the Handmaid’s Tale to see if it gets funded.

I think that was the single most telling word in the entire piece. “Enjoy.”

I like Balvenie but it’s worth mentioning that I’ve got friends across the pond who look at it as export-only garbage to be pawned off on hapless Americans. Doesn’t change the fact that I like how it tastes but it makes me question the markup when I see it at a bar.

They also came in rainbow colors.

It’s a strawman. Those loopholes are placed there deliberately by NRA-funded assholes like Rubio.

Found him.

Seriously. When I went to my high school, it was an “open campus” and you could come and go as you pleased. Now the kids at the same school wear ID badges and swipe themselves through locked doors and the goddamn president is talking about giving their wardensteachers guns.

I met a very drunk gay Republican (actual politician) at a party and we bonded over a shared hometown. He was the old-school fiscal conservative type and was lamenting the state of his party. Then he told me a story about Mike Pence that made that man’s absurd public persona make so much more sense.

Probably the same damn people that handle prison food. Made from 87.56% edible things!

Actually the trick is to be fat. True story.

Not that you can prevent 100% of people going down an unfortunate path, but free access to healthcare and limited access to guns would do such an amazing job of preventing a whole lot of them.

That was my job when my girlfriend’s dad died.